Photo: STILLS (Getty Images)
The Beatles are one of the most influential bands of all time. The foursome from Liverpool regularly drew hordes of screaming fans and managed to make shag bowl cuts cool. They were easily the world’s biggest rock act.
Many people don’t realize just how quickly Beatlemania exploded and how quickly the band called it quits. Here is a hilariously accurate observation of the Beatles’ timeline, from beginning to end.
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The group forms and immediately enters one of the worst dad-puns into the collective lexicon. They are turned down from Decca Records because, in a sentiment that was just 50 years too early, guitar music was thought to be on the way out.
Ka-Ching! John, Paul, Ringo, and George learn how to count to a million as the group's album
With the Beatles becomes Britain's first million-selling album. The band proceeds to get matching "first to a mil" tattoos on their left buttocks.
The Beatles officially invade America, swarming the
Ed Sullivan show and sending millions of young girls into hysterics. The band rocks the country's collective socks off. Rock 'n' roll is officially imported to America and convinces some Americans to finally take the guitar seriously.
The foursome is granted an official MBE (Members of the British Empire). Nothing showcases a rebellious rock and roll spirit more than being recognized by a world power. The group gets matching MBE jumpsuits and briefly considers renaming themselves the MBEatles.
In a bit of a controversial move, the Beatles dedicate an entire album to guns. More specifically,
Revolver is an ode to handgun firearms throughout the world. The group is immediately bestowed honorary American citizenship and even come in third in the next presidential election as a group write-in.
Using their powers for good, the Beatles bring the world into full color. One unintended side-effect is all four spontaneously sprout mustaches despite no indication of being able to grow any facial hair. The debate of whether the band was really a Wizarding group in disguise rages to this day.
The Beatles found Apple. Well, more specifically, Apple Corp, a recording studio. While it's not the same source as Macs and the iPhone, perhaps Steve Jobs was influenced by the group. In a very, very roundabout way, maybe the Beatles did found Apple.
The Beatles get photographed jaywalking and one of them even forgot their shoes. Instead of facing legal repercussions, the band made the photograph their album cover.
The rest of the band leaves poor Ringo Starr hanging at a final studio session. While the band never makes a formal proclamation or Instagram post, the writing is on the wall. The group is done.