Comedy Central Hates Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer Retarded

Radar Online dropped this story five hours ago, and now it’s mysteriously vanished. You be the judge. Anyway, here’s what it’s like dealing with Amy Schumer when she’s doing promos for Comedy Central. 

According to the insider, a Comedy Central marketing executive bore the brunt of the 34-year-old comedian’s tirade. “He was on the receiving end of a number of earfuls from Amy during the process,” noted the insider. “At one point he made a suggestion for something Amy should say and she flipped out.” “Are you retarded? No, I’m really asking, are you retarded?” the insider claims Schumer blasted, before adding, “Please stop talking. Do not talk again.” Because of Schumer’s actions, “No one in Comedy Central’s marketing department likes dealing with her anymore and it’s gotten to the point where the situation’s not funny at all,” noted the insider. “She’s worse than anyone else I’ve ever dealt with,” said the insider. “She’s just mean.”

I never really understood the whole Amy Schumer thing. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a vagina. Or because I don’t feel the need to pretend to like something because it’s labeled “feminist”. Or maybe because I know people in NYC who know her. Like this story. 100% true. Or the fact if you want to approach her after a gig, her assistant has to vet you. If you aren’t connected or have the ability to advance her career, she won’t bother. Or the time she almost got sued for breach of contract by a Jersey comedy club because she kept cancelling her headlining gigs because she thought she was “too high profile” even though headliners like Bill Burr do them. Ever notice how her standup isn’t really that funny? Yeah, that’s because all the Inside Amy Schumer sketches are written by other people. Mostly dudes. You know, girl power. Or the fact that her ex, Anthony Jeselnik, gave her her big break on the Roseanne/Sheen roasts and now she acts like he doesn’t exist. Or that fact that she did a she did a bunch of  “bringer shows” to break out at Gotham. Those are basically scams where they don’t let you perform unless you bring X amount of audience members who are willing to pay 3x the normal ticket value, plus a 2-drink minimum and automatic 18% gratuity to see you. You know who could afford that? Her wealthy Upper West Side family.  And when your cousin is a senator in New York City, comedy clubs tend to be nicer to you. And watch any of her interviews. Pick one. You’ll hear like one of the same three rehearsed  anecdotes in every one. Merry Christmas, everyone!