Cameron Diaz Finally Got Her Schnoz Fixed

Cameron Diaz has been walking around with a new nose. She finally had it done claiming it was because she hadn’t been able to breathe through it properly after she broke it while surfing in Hawaii. Which, of course, would be a great excuse if we didn’t know she’s always had a big man-honker. Meanwhile, she’s still infatuated with herself.

Cameron told Britain’s OK! magazine: “I don’t know if I do anything to annoy Justin. Nothing. I’m perfect. That’s probably what drives him crazy!”

You know what else would be perfect? If her plastic surgeon’s knife slipped and sliced off her head. I don’t think they make trash bags big enough to contain her Joker-mouth and her ego, but I’ll be more than happy to make a custom sized bag just for her. I’ll also make it sound proof in case she’s still able to giggle and babble incessantly even after she’s been decapitated. Then I’m going to buy a big, giant goal post and a big, giant extension for my foot so I can kick a big, giant field goal with her big, giant face. And it’ll be worth six points instead of three because it’s twice as awesome. Oh, one can only dream…

Here she is trying to hide her clear bandage and black eye on Nov. 21:



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