Jessica Simpson Wants You to Buy Her Shoes

As much as it pains me to say it, Jessica Simpson’s body is looking pretty hot in the first set of pictures from September 12th. Maybe it’s because we can’t see her “ass.” Or because she’s finally not dressing like a like a gay homeless man. Now if only we can do something about the face. Or her voice. Look at that first picture. If you painted on some black eyebrows, she’d look like she was wearing this. Maybe she’ll look better when she’s on Dancing With the Stars. Which should be about any time now.

This may look like another “multi-millionaire who can’t go anywhere without being hunted by paparazzi but decides to go grocery shopping in the middle of the day” story, but it’s not. See those ridiculous boots Jessica is wearing again? Yeah. Those are supposedly from her new shoe line, and if not, they’re just as ugly. The clone army with the cameras who just happened to be waiting for her when she arrived to go “shopping” made sure to show her dumb ass boots in practically every picture. Man, what a coincidence. Hitler would be so proud.


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