Jessica Simpson is Ready

Jessica Simpson is reportedly desperate to start dating again but is worried about what the public/tabloids might say. As you might have guessed, her father/manager/pimp, Joe Simpson, has “encouraged” his daughter to wait until Nick Lachey is seen with another woman until she decides to publicly date someone. A source tells Life & Style magazine:

He’s afraid her fans will think she doesn’t give a damn about the split if she’s suddenly kissing some guy.”

Listen Joe, Jessica is not waiting in the princess tower with bluebirds flying around her head waiting for a knight on a white horse. She’s already been bent over a chair by Bam Magera and Adam Levine, so keeping her locked up isn’t going to help her image. If I was Nick Lachey, I would just stay in my house naked and sneak girls in just for spite. And after three years of banging plastic in the missionary position, Lachey is probably ready to finally use his safe word.

Nick at the SAG Awards:

Jessica on January 21st: