Madonna is a mean mommy

Madonna doesn’t let her kids watch television, read magazines, drink milk or eat ice cream. My sources (who my therapist calls the ‘voices’ in my head) tell me that laughing, smiling and blinking are also off limits, but for some reason Madonna doesn’t share that part with the public.

I hear these pictures from a few days ago were taken outside the Roxy in New York City where it’s been rumored she’s planning a surprise performance to promote her new album and her new look which is the worst one yet. She looks head to toe ridiculous here, and as though she was inspired by Violet Beauregarde as she reached the blueberry pie stage of her chewing gum in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But those dumb shoes are the worst part (yes, even worse than the hair). Please, for the love of all that is sacred and holy, do not allow her to bring those hideous ankle boots back in style. Let this be the one Madonna look people do not copy. I’d rather wear jelly pumps and slouch socks and shoot myself.

Thanks to most helpful Matthew and Bill for their submissions.