Eva Longoria in Rolling Stone

Leave it to the dusty mummies at Rolling Stone to take the flawless Eva Longoria, put her in a photo shoot and make it boring. The second picture is hot, the rest are just lifeless and dull. I don’t know why they even bothered to photograph the real Eva Longoria. They might as well have gotten a stuffed Tigger in a sailor suit and photographed that. It would have been just as hot and saved everyone a lot of time. I used to know a guy who wrote there, and I’m pretty sure he spent his evenings hosting dinner parties with a guest list of dead hookers propped up around a folding card table, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that these dorks have no idea what to do with a real live girl.