9 Things That Have Worn Out Their Welcome
Let’s be perfectly clear about these movies: At this point, the creators are having way more fun with them than we are. The original “Sharknado” was a fluke. Like most SyFy originals, it was dumb — whether that was intentional or not — yet oddly entertaining. But due to its massive success, they had to keep the storm brewing. Unfortunately, that meant upping the ante, which in turn led to overkill both literally and figuratively. They are simply trying way too hard now to be stupid, which comes off more pathetic than funny. Just look at the GIF above, which is an actual scene from Sunday’s premiere of “Sharknado: The 4th Awakens.”
Think of Chewbacca Mom like someone who won the lottery, which is essentially what 37-year-old Texas mother Candace Payne did back in May when her video went viral. Now, if you saw that very same person continuing to buy lotto tickets the next week, you’d be kind of pissed off, right? Haven’t they already gotten enough money and fame for doing virtually nothing? That’s what most of us were thinking about the next video she posted a few months later (embedded above). You had your fun, lady. Now kindly “make a better place, y’all” and buzz off. C’mon.
Lip Sync Battle
Speaking of watching other people have fun as they get richer and richer, does no one realize that “Lip Sync Battle” is essentially nothing? It takes absolutely no talent other than knowing the words to a song and wearing costumes. Though I suppose having someone choreograph dance numbers for you is pretty draining. And just to reiterate, the people watching this garbage aren’t having any of the fun themselves. Worst of all, these are respectable actors participating in this show. Or at least they used to be.
Sequels, Prequels and Reboots
Just think of one original goddamn idea, Hollywood! It doesn’t even have to be a great one. Just try it. By this point in my young life, I’ve essentially seen every movie from my childhood twice — occasionally three or four times — over in a slightly different way. Give moviegoers a little credit. We’ll still watch something even if we don’t immediately recognize the name. On top of that, it’s not just movies. Even the very GIF from “Scream 2” that I used to strengthen my point was eventually turned into a TV show because someone decided a horror series by any other name wouldn’t sell as sweet. What’s next, rebooted rock bands?
This applies to both TV and movies, with every new film feeling like it’s setting up an ongoing franchise instead of telling a story with a definitive beginning, middle and end. Regrettably, we live in a world of instant gratification now, so these little setups to a larger payoff are just angering people as they wait. Not to mention hyping them up so much that they can’t possibly live up to the anticipation. Yes, that’s a direct dig at “The Walking Dead,” which will surely disappoint when it returns in October, likely because it will bait people through the entire premiere episode before revealing who got offed in the closing minutes.
We’re happy to report that it’s already on the way out, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t sick of hearing about it constantly. The most disturbing thing about this fad is that it’s a game for children played primarily by adults who should be making more productive use of their time. Sure, it promotes exercise in its own way, but at the end of the day, it’s still people walking around like idiots searching for imaginary creatures. Is that not completely absurd and pointless, or are we missing something?
Celebrity Twitter Feuds
We’d like to think actor Aaron Paul was mocking the likes of Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj with his tweet above, but at the same time, we don’t really care. Twitter feuds are as trivial as fights get, as they’re not even real confrontation. They’re two celebrities seeing who can get the most favorites and retweets before people stop caring and move on to the next thing they’ll be infatuated with for a day. What makes these “fights” especially brutal is that even when you have zero interest in them, it’s all the internet is talking about, so you end up knowing more about these petty, faux arguments than you care to admit.
Truth be told, I personally love superheroes and superhero movies and comic books and all of that good stuff. I’m a huge nerd. But I’m also not oblivious to those around me who couldn’t give less of a f–k. I imagine every new “Avengers” movie or 5-hour ultimate extended director’s cut edition of “Batman v Superman” that comes out only adds fuel to their hate fire. And rightfully so. It’s everywhere. It’s inescapable. And much like sequels/prequels/reboots, these kinds of movies and shows aren’t going away anytime soon, regardless of what this character tells you.
Yeah, I remember the ’90s. It was 16 years ago and I’m not suffering from Alzheimer’s just yet. But please, do go on about the 10 jokes from “Hey Arnold!” that totally went over my head as a child. We realize this one’s a bit hypocritical since we’re guilty of posting the exact same BS we’re mocking right now, but it’s as if we’re obsessed with the very notion that things we enjoyed when we were kids still exist. Of course they still exist! The world didn’t blow up. Time didn’t rewrite itself without anyone noticing. What’s wrong with simply cherishing these ‘toons and toys and board games as treasured memories rather than dissecting every facet of their being years later? Most of this crap’s not nearly as good as you remember it when you take such an in-depth look back. And the stuff that is, well, again, you’re in your late 20s or 30s by now. Maybe you shouldn’t be spending key years of your adult life reminiscing on old cartoons so much.