10 Times Zack Morris Should Have Gone to Jail
For some reason Zack Morris has been one of the most beloved TV characters for years, but is it deserved? He may get laughs and cheers, but there’s something sinister about his behavior. Not only is it reprehensible, but there are times when it crossed over to criminal. Here are ten times Zack Morris should have gone to jail.
Zack and his team of thugs take over the school store from “the nerds” because apparently they hadn’t already monopolized enough of Bayside. Instead of selling notepads and sweatshirts he decides to secretly take pictures of the girls swim team and turn the photos into a calendar. He’s basically a voyeur. By the way, were we really supposed to believe the girls were just casually standing like that when he photographed them?
“The Video Yearbook”
Bayside decided instead of doing a print yearbook like a normal school, they’d do something timeless like VHS video yearbooks. And whom do they put in charge of this product? Zack Morris, of course. Zack neglects his responsibilities and decides, instead, to dub over the girl’s video clips and make them appear to be super horny and looking for dates. Mind you, these are underage girls, so he’s basically human trafficking at this point. He’s a videotape pimp and doesn’t mind destroying lives to make a quick buck.
Slater looks like he’ll be getting his driver’s license before Zack, which means he’ll be able to take Kelly on dates and rub up on each other in the backseat. Zack can’t have that! Instead of just working harder or applying himself he decides to cut the brakes on the car so Slater will crash and fail. Are you trying to commit a murder, Zack? Slater ends up crashing the car and injuring Kelly, but thankfully no one was too seriously hurt.
Bayside is throwing their annual beauty contest, because that’s something a school does, and somehow Screech and Slater get to enter. You know, so the guys of the world can finally win something. Zack bets money on Screech, and to make sure Slater doesn’t win he starts slandering Slater and telling everyone that he went crazy and punched Screech in the face. Is there nothing he won’t do in order to come out ahead? No. The answer is no.
The big dance is coming up and all the guys want to know whom the girls are interesting in going with. Zack knows Kelly wants to go with him. How does he know this? Oh, that’s because Zack and placed a bug in Kelly’s room to spy on them during her slumber party. He’s the Edward Snowden of teenage relationships.
There’s a prize of going to Hawaii for the glee club that wins the local competition, so obviously Zack and his squad of goons must join at once. Since they have no singing abilities, Zack decides to record an actual group and pretend it’s them singing. The tape ends up getting destroyed during the performance and they get bailed out by Screech and Tori Spelling, but they should’ve been kicked out of the building immediately for cheating. Way to always be complete trash, Zack.
In order to get into a nightclub, Zack starts buying fake IDs. For some reason, instead of going to a regular club that sells alcohol, they buy a fake ID for a club that you have to be 18 or older to get into. Why is this even a thing? Do you need an ID to make sure you can have that much Sprite without your parent’s permission?
“The Wicked Stepbrother”
Jesse’s stepbrother Eric moves into town for like a week because clearly his parents care about him and what’s best for his life. He immediately starts manipulating Zack and the gang, which infuriates Zack because he’s the one who usually does the manipulating. To get Eric in trouble, Zack and Slater tell him he can borrow their car to go on a date with Lisa. The problem is that it’s Mr. Belding’s car. Are they trying to get Eric arrested? Grow up you mutants.
“All in the Mall”
After making Screech sleep overnight at the mall, the gang plans on doing what any teenager goes to the mall to do and that’s buying tickets to see U2. Screech of course screws it up because he’s an idiot, but luckily they find a bag of money under a bench. Instead of returning it to the authorities Zack decides to take it and buy a bunch of tickets to scalp. He’s like the human version of a Craigslist scam.
“Drinking and Driving”
After drinking and driving and then crashing a car, Zack and his crew of infidels learn an important lesson by going to jail. Wait, what’s that? They didn’t go to jail? Oh, instead they were just given a stern talking to by Lisa’s mom. That will teach them! How about you lock this monster up before he becomes the next serial killer?