Kim Kardashian’s Robbery Is Going According To Plan (i.e. Sex Tape)





As you already know from either sites like this or people on Facebook reminding you that OTHER THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN THE WORLD, Kim Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint in Paris where thieves made off with her phone and $10M in jewelry. We can talk about why someone would keep $10M in jewelry in a hotel room, but that is just meant to distract you from the real prize Kris Jenner told them to find: Kim’s phone. Because apparently there’s some a lot of videos of Kim and Kanye fucking on it.

“Aside from tons of nude and explicit content featuring her and Kanye, the stolen phones also have so much information on all of Kim’s family members,” the source said. “They are all really freaking out because Kim’s phones had all of their personal info, such as phone numbers, email addresses, schedules, production dates, and much more!”

I’ve been robbed three times, but in my defense, I wasn’t home and not in the bathroom talking 6,000 selfies. I may have heard them if I was. So, obviously, there’s probably a lot of shit on Kim’s phone. Possibly some “fingers in the booty”. Possibly just a bunch of selfies taken while her kids were with the nanny. Or possibly just another Kim Kardashian sex tape where she lies there again like one of the chicks in Taken. Very low energy. Sad to watch!

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