Vivid Is Keeping Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape

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As you might have heard, a “mystery buyer” offered Vivid Entertainment $20 million to buy the rights to the sex tape of the world’s most photographed diurectic, Kim Kardashian. They turned it down. TMZ reports:

The mystery buyer gunning for Kim Kardashian’s sex tape came up short where it matters most … in the wallet … because Vivid Entertainment has officially REJECTED his $20 million offer to take the tape off the market. Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch tells us, “We were offered $20 million for the Kim tape but have decided that we are going to hang on to it … for now.” He adds, “Although the offer that we ultimately received was substantial, when I realized that it wasn’t Kim it became less appealing. Kim is a superstar and if it were to be sold, it should be to her.”

So basically, Kim Kardashian needs to up her original offer. Or throw in Kendall. But, more to the point, someone should explain to Kim how the Internet works. She does realize you can go on the Internet and type in “Kim Kardashian sex tape” and see it for free, right? She does realize once something is online it’s there forever, right? I mean, she does understand that, right? If she wants to spend $20 million on something anybody can see at anytime, I can sell her the sun. I’m Native American, I can hook that up. And if she calls within the next 15 minutes, I’ll also throw in an authentic tribal necklace featuring a stunning oval turquoise accented with swirls of shimmering sterling silver! Its beautiful, eye-catching pendant will brighten up any casual look! There’s no reason not to call! Order today!