I realize that Lindsay Lohan desperately wants to believe that she looks like Marilyn Monroe, but the only thing they have in common is big tits and the hope that Lindsay will one day be found in her bedroom dead of an overdose by her live-in housekeeper, so I have no idea why photographers insist on shooting this skank as one of the hottest pieces of ass of the last 100 years. The Bert Stern shoot was only remotely tolerable because Lindsay got naked (HERE and HERE – NSFW), so please stop trying to convince me that Lindsay Lohan looks like this bitch. To reiterate, it’s Lindsay Lohan. At this point, I’d rather dig up Marilyn Monroe and have sex with whatever’s left, because, if I can be honest, I’m almost positive the corpse would have a higher T-cell count.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
