Conrad Hilton Is An Excellent Driver

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Everyone in the Hilton family is a narcissistic, entitled fuckup, so of course Conrad Hilton sideswiped a car this weekend and didn’t stop. In his defense, the person who owned that car probably wasn’t even a Hilton. It’s not like they’re even a real person. TMZ reports:

In the video, you see Hilton’s car speeding down a narrow side street in Brentwood, CA … then suddenly clipping one car with enough force that it strikes another vehicle, a Mini Cooper. Hilton just keeps in truckin’. Minutes after the crash … you see several people milling around in the street, checking the damage — and then Hilton arrives back on scene. Someone — it appears to be Hilton — has a very animated convo with some of the people. Minutes later an officer arrives and inspects the damage. Cops say Hilton had already left. According to police, Hilton exchanged information with the owner of the vehicle he hit. He was not ticketed.

If you’re a celebrity in Los Angeles, you have to behead a newborn then take a out a full page ad in Variety with the title, “I Beheaded This Newborn”, for the police to arrest you. But even then they might just give you unsupervised probation and credit for time served because you brushed the newborn’s hair afterward.