Macho Man Randy Savage Had A Heart Attack, Hit A Tree, Died

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If you are a grown man and you have fought the voices in your head telling you to go ahead and make the leap to full on gay porn your whole life, you are probably now a big professional wrestling fan. So it is with a heavy heart that I tell you that one of your heroes, Macho Man Randy Savage, has gone to the great ring in the sky. Ooooooh Yeaahhhhh!!!

Macho Man Randy Savage — one of the greatest wrestlers of all-time — died today in a car accident in Tampa, Florida … TMZ has learned. Florida Highway Patrol tells TMZ … Savage was driving his 2009 Jeep Wrangler when he veered across a concrete median … through oncoming traffic … and “collided head-on with a tree.” Savage was transported to Largo Medical center, where he died from his injuries. Savage’s wife was a passenger in the vehicle during the collision — but survived with “minor injuries.” She was transported to a different local hospital where she was treated.

Peace, Randy. I would pour a Slim Jim out for you, but you know how their wrappers are. Sorry, man.