Jon Gosselin Is A Wonderful Human Being

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If you need further proof that the eight Gosselin kids would be better off working in a sweatshop, here you go.

Jon Gosselin threatened to report his then-wife Kate to Child Protective Services unless she gave him a large sum of money, is reporting exclusively. Jon’s ex girlfriend Hailey Glassman revealed the details to exclusively and provided documents to back up her claims. Hailey told that Jon often refers to himself in the third person, and the notes reflect that. In one of them he wrote: “Jon giving Kate ultimatums. He privately extorts Kate. If you don’t do what I want, I’ll do this…” He also wrote: “24/48 hours or I’ll go to DA (district attorney)” “He always referred to himself in the third person,” Glassman told exclusively. “I found it so strange. It was almost like he thought he was still on camera.” “We were in bed and Jon called Kate on speaker phone,” she told exclusively. “He wrote down what he wanted to say to her and then he read from his notes. “He told her, ‘You either give me money, or I’m going to call CPS.'” Hailey continued, “I was in the background asking ‘what is CPS?’ And Jon told me, ‘Child Protective Services.’ “Kate started screaming and Jon just started laughing,” Hailey continued. “He just laughed at her. Later when he got off the phone I asked him, ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this? This is the mother of your eight children!’ And he told me, ‘Oh, you don’t know what I went through with her, what I had to deal with.'” Many of Jon’s personal notes are damning when it comes to his dealings with Kate. In addition to the excerpts referenced above, another note says, “Need 50k or 100k now. 24/48 hours go to DA.” In another note he wrote: “I’m not your child. I need my money.” Glassman said that Kate fought back during her conversations with Jon. “Kate would just say, ‘You’re sick Jon, you’re sick. How could you do this to me? You need help,” Glassman recalls. “I just remember thinking at the time that if he could do this to the mother of his kids, what would he do to me?” “There were so many times I witnessed it,” Hailey said. “That’s how he works. We would literally be in bed and Jon would call Kate, or Kate would call Jon to talk about custody and he would put her on speaker phone. She didn’t know I was there. “He’d say, ‘I’m going to go public with the way you treat the kids, I’m going to call CPS and the news and tell them everything unless you give me what I want.”

My God. I watched ten minutes of this show once, and I’m not even joking, I kept waiting for Jon Gosselin to blow his brains out or jump out of the shower and throw himself against an electrified fence, because Kate Gosselin is the most vile cunt on Earth. If she lived in Iran, they would have stoned her with rocks from Krypton that were dipped in poison, but still, blackmailing your wife is a bitch move. But in this recession, I really can’t say I blame him. I assume hairplugs and breast reduction surgery isn’t cheap.