The Not Gay Dude Won American Idol

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23-year-old Kris Allen from Conway, Arkansas, became the eighth winner of American Idol last night after beating the heavily favored, (*M)Adam Lambert. The openly gay Lambert and Danny Gokey (placed 3rd) were considered mortal locks to be in the final two, but someone failed to consider the speed in which 13-year old girls dial. Fox News reports:

After the results of the voting on Tuesday’s final performance episode were announced (reportedly, nearly 100 million votes were cast, a show record), Kris was basically speechless. “Are you serious?” he asked host Ryan Seacrest. “Are you friggin’ serious?” Asked how it felt to win, he said, “It feels good, but Adam deserves this.”

To be honest, I couldn’t give a shit, but I guess this is a singing competition, so I can see how Kris Allen won. If this was a “play dress up and scream incoherently” competition, I would have probably given the trophy to Lambert. But I think we can all agree that the real loser here is Perez Hilton. Or maybe it’s his gardener’s little boy. I can’t shake the feeling that Perez put on a dress and an executioner’s mask and choked him out after the results were announced.

(*M) Thanks, Jenny! 🙂

Here’s the hot piece of ass Carrie Underwood at the finale last night to ungay this post up: