Hulk Hogan Probably Should Have Kept That a Thought

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In the new issue of Rolling Stone, Hulk Hogan says he could have dealt with his estranged wife, Linda, kicking him out of his $18 million mansion or burning through $40,000 a day a little differently. And by that I mean chopping her head off. Page Six reports:

“I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody’s throat,” he told the magazine. “You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it.

Now, a day later, and I know this may come as a surprise, but Linda Hogan is now sleeping in a suit of armor and booby trapping her house like that chick did when she fought Freddy Kreuger. Her rep says:

“We have always maintained that the fear that Linda has had to live with comes from the rage and instability much too often associated with pro wrestlers,” Gary Smith says in a statement. “Linda and her family are taking these recent homicidal comments seriously. Linda’s attorney Ray Rafool is weighting all options necessary to protect his client.”

Man, what’s the world coming to? You can’t even make a passing joke about your detailed plan to stalk and decapitate your ex-wife without everybody getting all huffy and weird about it. What about laughter? Does anybody remember laughter?

Hulk Hogan, his daughter, and his girlfriend. Feel free to think this is creepy: