Guy Ritchie Might Be In This

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One day scientists will be able to explain why Guy Ritchie was married to Madonna’s haggard ass for eight years, but it seems like his penis may have gotten an upgrade – Ginger Spice. The Daily Mail says:

He’s now one of Britain’s most eligible bachelors. She’s footloose after breaking off her engagement to an Italian tycoon. So what on earth could Geri Halliwell have been looking for at Guy Ritchie’s pub last night? The former Spice Girl partied with Madonna’s ex at his Mayfair pub, The Punchbowl, after wowing on the red carpet at The Boat That Rocked premiere. They left the pub separately around 11.50pm, with Guy following Geri out just minutes later with a huge grin on his face.

This really could have been anybody, because, literally, any chick would have been an upgrade over Madonna. She’s gross. Guy Ricthie could have pulled a prostitute’s body from a river and it would have been hotter than Madonna’s sinewy leather ass. Seriously, I don’t even know why she’s famous. Look at this chick. She shouldn’t be a sex symbol, she should be the mortal enemy of the Thundercats or teaching mutant teenage turtles how to be ninjas.