Jamie Lynn Spears is Scared

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Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant but apparently she was under the impression that she would get fat for a while then doctor would walk her down to the river where her new baby would be wrapped in blankets and floating in a basket. She doesn’t seem to like the alternative. Star Magazine says:

A source tells Star that when the Spears family matriarch showed her seven-months-pregnant 17-year-old daughter a video of a real natural childbirth, Jamie Lynn threw up! “Lynne was trying to be helpful,” a source tells Star. “She wanted to show Jamie Lynn what a woman goes through giving birth, that it’s a natural and beautiful thing, but all Jamie Lynn saw was the blood – or ‘goop,’ as she called it – the screaming and the pain. It was too graphic for her. She flipped out and literally got sick.” Now Jamie Lynn is totally freaked out. “She is wondering if a C-section is possible,” the source adds. “She wants to be knocked out and then wake up when it’s all over.”

Well, it’s a good thing Jamie Lynn thought this whole pregnancy through. Now instead of putting puffy unicorn stickers on her IPod or cutting out pictures of The Jonas Brothers this summer, she’ll be in screaming, agonizing pain in a few months. Nice job, you fucking moron. There’s a reason 16 year old girls shouldn’t get pregnant. And please don’t tell me that all babies are miracles from God. A miracle from God is when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid’s arm or when the cops don’t find the hooker you buried, not when a drunk hillbilly forgets to pull out.