Newsworthy Tom Cruise News

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Most people will assume this is all just a joke and is all in good fun, because it’s so fucking absurd, but it’s newsworthy nonetheless, so we’ll report it. It sounds like a Saturday Night Live parody of Starship Troopers. These guys are almost as funny as those junior high, being forced to walk to the chalkboard with an erection jokes. But they’re not as funny as fart jokes, because even Scientologists know nothing is funnier than farts, or do they?

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