The Post-Millenium WWE Academy Awards: Actors In A Leading Role

Mark Henry In The Color Salmon Signifies Pain (2013)

Mark Henry, a former world champ who too often was given the Big Show style of booking where persona turns were about as common as the changing of singlets, appeared to finally be giving up the life of tacking opponents’ plaques up in his Hall of Pain in favor of soothing his jangled nerves to Hall & Oates in his living room (“Sara Smile” seems like his jam.) Henry took one Monday night in June of 2013 to announce that his time in the ring was over. Mark hit all the checkpoints of a retirement speech by playfully bantering with the crowd, lauding an appreciative champion, and mentioning his family as he fought back those crocodile tears. Henry made that audience believe this was the end of the World’s Strongest road. Mark, however, played everybody and in an act of pure irony, reignited his brand at the level it should’ve been for a long time: a monster heel who poses a monster threat.

Steve Austin In Things Get Pixelated (2012)

Whether it was THQ or 2K Sports, the gaming companies do a much better job at promoting the WWE product than WWE does. And there’s no exaggeration in that. It’s a total fact. Even just the trailers for the game tells a story that gets a consumer willing to oneself from their hard-earned dime. The promotion of WWE’13 was no different. With CM Punk as the coverboy, THQ played up the idea of modern WWE versus The Attitude Era and nobody can think of a better champion of that hot time in wrestling than Steve Austin. With JR playing camp counselor, THQ corralled Punk and Austin for a sit-down fantasy discussion on the two eras. It didn’t take too long for things to get dicey. Punk played up the fact that you didn’t need a controller to see him as champ, he currently was, but Austin? Stone Cold’s time in the ring was regulated to being showcased polygons. This didn’t sit well with Steve as Austin made it evident the Texas Rattlesnake was stirring under his Broken Skull exterior. The interview got so much play that fans were talking it becoming a reality at the upcoming WrestleMania and caused Austin to get bombarded with questions about an actual in-ring return.

Chris Jericho In The Festival Of Sadness (2017)

The alliance of Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens of 2016 were one of the most engaging angles of the entire year. Two microphone fiends playing off one another made this heel duo extremely hard to boo. After all, when you consider duos like Riggs & Murtaugh or Butch & Sundance it’s pretty difficult to boo a good bromance and fans were just waiting for the two to come to the good guy side of the aisle. That jerk with the list Jericho showed signs of it first as he was in the role of friend seeking acceptance, while WWE champion KO kept playing the selfish champion. With puppy-like naivety, Jericho put on a Festival of Friendship to win over Owens and poured his Lionheart out to his best buddy on how much he loves him. Any wrongs between the two could have been righted in this moment but Owens stayed true to his center of self by playing the Winnipeg wingman like a fiddle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q4GM8qTEy0

Batista In Evolution Of An Animal (2004-2005)

The big “thumbs down” may be the moment we all remember, but that entire build for Batista as Evolution’s enforcer to “The Animal” was a change worth witnessing over time. Big Dave showed his acting chops early on by playing off of an all-too healthy in power Triple H, who would continue to credit his buddy as the future, but still make sure his star shined a little brighter. Those aforementioned subtleties? When he was on the stick or off to the side, Dave’s body language and eye looks told a further story of a man an audience wanted to put their chips behind. It’s been a long time since then, but those early seeds of The Animal destroying the box office Galaxy were planted in good soil with this classic angle.

We cut back to Al Snow, who takes the envelope, rips it open, blows on it Johnny Carson style and goes to reveal the winner. Much like Heyman on Monday, he exhales before dropping the card on-stage flummoxed with shock. He exits, at a loss for words and bad jokes. Steve’s radiant smile disappears after he picks up the card. Just as stunned as his former tag cohort, he follows suit with cheesehead hat in hand. We’re left with Bob Barker and his signature thin baton microphone to do the honors:

“And the winner is: ‘Roman Reigns in The Big Dog Protects His Yard’?”

Booes fill the Manhattan Center as Living Colour struggles to find their footing as they play the Price Is Right theme to close out the sho. A perplexed, yet professional Barker clears his throat to compose himself before delivering his signature line:

“Bob Barker here reminding you to help control the pet population, have your pets spayed and neutered. Goodbye everybody.”