The Post-Millenium WWE Academy Awards: Actors In A Leading Role

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Wrestling is known for being over-the-top in the ways of acting or actions go. After all, the performances do take place in “theater in the round” and any true thespian who realizes their weight in water knows that acting for the stage is quite different than acting for the screen.

In addition, subtly isn’t Vince McMahon’s best character trait so it becomes all the more significant when we as fans see that “slight look in the eye” or shift in body language that causes us to pause. Not all wrestlers are good at it. Some don’t even need it to make the most out of their characters, but the ones that are capable of conveying that extra layer of emotion can give a passionate wrestling fan a willingness to share said passion with his non-wrestling friends.

Such moments should be honored with some type of award, shouldn’t it?  So instead of something that has been trivialized like the Slammys with “Best OMG Moment”  I present to you “The Post-Millenium WWE Academy Awards” and its nominees for actor in a leading role. I even hired a backstage stooge akin to Todd Pettengill (actually, I believe that is Todd Pettengill) to walk out all tuxed out in kid gloves with a gold trophy named “Rocky” (the raised eyebrow is a nice touch). John Stewart was set to host, but he’s still recovering from that 2015 Attitude Adjustment so we got Bob Barker instead (94 years young and he looks like he still could kick Adam Sandler’s ass.) I rented out the Manhattan Center and have plenty of cutaways planned while the real action takes place at Barclays.

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The night is here: the fans are restless with frustration and lack of action. Perfect. Living Colour plays Al Snow and Steve Blackman out with “Open Letter (To A Landlord)” to present the award. Al looks great with short hair and Steve is abundant with that signature million dollar smile. Head Cheese is alive and well until Al cracks a Mick Foley joke that garners nothing but silence, even from the crickets. Luckily, Steve makes the save by pulling out a Lambeau cheesehead hat and begins to read the teleprompter with grace and elegance in a timber that would make Dan Rather envious:

“And the nominees are…”

Paul Heyman In Beast Of Burden (2018)

Heyman’s performance during the sit-down with Renee Young on Monday is what inspired this whole fantastical dog-and-pony ceremony so it’s fitting for his nomination to play lead-off. Heyman is one of kind. With eyes puffy, face unshaven and flop sweat evident, Heyman unequivocally added build to Roman vs. Brock VI (yes, this is the sixth go-around) by creating more of the unknown in a match that by any reasonable account, has a great deal of known to it. On Monday, we saw a master chef make chicken salad and with a few garnishes to boot.

Roddy Piper In I’m Out Of Bubblegum, John Cena (2010)

November 15, 2010. Old School Raw. Roddy Piper conducts a Piper’s Pit between John Cena and Wade Barrett. Cena is pitted under the thumb of The Nexus and forced to bend to the will of Barrett and his young new faction. Cena faces the decision of handing over the WWE Championship as a gift to his new leader. Piper being Piper isn’t a fan of that or Cena’s dour demeanor. He pitches his viewpoint that such an action would be a great disrespect to a particular group of wrestlers who laced up boots before him. What Piper gives is indeed fitting for that aptly themed episode of Monday Night Raw.

Next Page: The Rest Of The Nominees & The Winner Revealed…