Aleister Black
Photo Credit: Thomas Gibson

Aleister Black On The Dark Origins Of His Character, Facing His Paralyzing Fears As A Kid, Feeling Disconnected From The World

On A Disconnect In Communicating With His Colleagues & Others:

I will say, and I don’t know if this is because I’m very introverted or because I’m a recluse or because I’m European and I have a different way of thinking – Dutch people are different in general – I’m very sober-minded, but I do sometimes feel like I have a disconnect communicating with people because I don’t always get it and I don’t know what it is that I’m not getting, but I feel there is a disconnect between me and other people when I’m talking to them, with some of my colleagues and I. I never know if that’s me, or if that’s them, or if it’s where I’m from or if it’s how my mind works. I don’t feel understood. I feel there’s always a distance. For as long as I can remember, I always have an issue communicating – not in the sense that I can’t communicate – I feel like I’m never understood and I feel like I don’t understand them. There’s almost a disconnect. That’s a better word. It’s very hard to put into words. It’s not something tangible. I just feel that when I communicate with people, it’s just a little harder.

On Dealing With Anxiety & Other Mental Issues:

I have anxiety and certain mental issues that prevent me from having that connection that people have with each other. Sometimes when you watch cartoons and they can’t figure out why the bomb doesn’t explode, ‘Why? This is why they put the wire in,’ and then everything explodes. Why is this not connected? Then when it does get connected it’s overload.

On Going Through Difficult Times In Difficult Relationships:

I was 28 or 29 and I had a conversation with my therapist and she said, ‘Have you ever been happy?’ It took me 10 minutes to answer that question. I honestly could not count one singular time where I felt I was happy for an authentic reason. I’ve been happy, but not authentically happy and at that point you have some revelations in your head going on. I had to change myself and I’m still trying to every day. I’ve had a lot of toxic relationships….people always try to get me to save them, but I can’t even save myself, how can I save you? I’ve had women that were so head over heels in love with me that they lost all track of themselves and I was like, ‘This is not what I want.’ Now you’re making me feel like you’ve completely put yourself in my hands. I’m not responsible for that….I need you to save you because I can’t save us both and there’s no one else in the world that will do it for you, but you.

On Whether He Loves Himself:

No, oh no I don’t. I hope [I get to that] at one point. I believe so, I will. It’s better than it was yesterday and the day before that and the day before that.

On The State Of The World Today:

I feel like the whole world is numb. No one’s sensitive to anything anymore. No one cares and I think a large portion of that is because of social media, especially with these younger kids who grew up with their phones as their main communication tool, with their Instagrams or with their Twitter instead of conversing with a person. It does create a giant disconnect and ‘It’s so far from home, so it doesn’t hurt me. I can say whatever I want to say.’

Readers may listen to Aleister Black’s appearance on Chasing Glory with Lilian Garcia in its entirety below:

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