OK, here was the idea:
Al and Boss Man fight inside a steel cage that is somehow surrounded by vicious, K-9 attack dogs. Just in writing this alone, I can’t even remember the structure of this obese cluster, and I’m surely not going to look in up while jarring bad memories. All I know is that the idea was for both wrestlers to be in SEVERE danger of getting ripped limb from limb by trained police attack dogs.
Only one problem: when I arrived to the building that day, there were no trained police attack dogs. Made sense that the local sheriff’s department wouldn’t lend a wrestling company their K-9 unit for the sake of biting wrestlers – makes sense, right? Well, of course, I didn’t think of that at the time. We were the WWE. We could get whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. BY GAWD!
So, we had to settle for finding locals who owned and trained pit bulls. OK, in theory, that will work. Everybody knows that pit bulls are lunatics who get off on fighting each other in cages, so this should suffice.
Well, a few hours before the show, the owners march the parade of dogs in. I knew there was a problem immediately when I walked over to one with extreme trepidation, and the killer pit nonchalantly proceeded to…LICK ME. Then the next one jumped on me, and slobbered all over my face. I swear, at first I thought Al was playing a rib on me. OK, funny ha-ha, now bring in the real killers!
“What are you talking about”, asked Richie our prop guy.
“I’m talking about the KILLER K-9’s who are supposed to be threatening the very existence of Al and the Boss Man.”
“These are them,” he calmly answered. “You wanted pit bulls; I got you pit bulls.”
“Yeah, Richie, I wanted PIT BULLS – ones that will EAT PEOPLE, not ones that will lick you to your final death!”
I wish that I could pin this one all on Richie, but he had nothing to do with it. This mess was 100% all on me. Envisioning six killer pit bulls foaming at the mouth just waiting to pounce on the Boss Man looking to shed him of a few pounds, I discounted the fact that we could have never “really” known what we’d get from the dogs. With all the lights, camera, crowd, wrestlers and ACTION, how would they perform? I swear, I actually believe that their owners may have fed them some somas they found laying around the locker room in an attempt to calm their trying nerves!
Man, what a freakin’ stinker – all courtesy of VINCE RUSSO!
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