If you value your life, maybe don't get on a plane. Use one of these alternative modes of transportation instead.
Boeing
Welcome aboard.
Just get comfortable with a little G-force
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Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
Perv out.
The National Enquirer is reporting that Jessica Alba was spotted in a Hollywood video store grabbing several XXX videos. According…
Back before there were memes, there were those things called jokes.
You're gonna need a bigger spoon!