7 Colleges That Look Worse on Your Resume Than Just Saying You Never Went
Finding a job is hard. So why sabotage your efforts with a resume that doesn’t do you justice? With the cost of college skyrocketing over the past two decades, and student debt becoming the biggest roadblock to financial security for young adults, is college really the way to go, or is it more trouble than it’s worth? If Harvard never called you back, take a moment to consider your options. You could graduate from your safety school and spend the rest of your life pretending you didn’t, or you can skip that degree altogether and call it even. Whatever you decide, steer clear of these seven colleges that look worse on your resume than a four-year stint at Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Photo: Ljupco (Getty Images)
Because adulting is overrated: 10 Things Graduates Will Immediately Miss About College
Florida Memorial University
Founded in 1879, this singular institution boasts a 38 percent graduation rate and a -$64,000 return on investment. Adding to the splendor, their faculty rating sits staunchly below the 10th percentile. No wonder students claim the teachers are "very disrespectful and...are setting the students up for failure."
Lowering the bar even further, Shaw University's school motto is "#transfer." With a faculty rating proudly vying for dead last in the country (and a ROI of -$93,000), you're better off taking money from a violent loan shark and developing a nasty drug habit. Just saying. Life will probably work out better for you in the long run.
California Institute of Technology
If you're looking to enter the fast-paced world of laboratory science, Caltech is your school. However, if you plan to make a go of it in the Turkish Airlines EuroLeague, find yourself a backup plan. Caltech's Division III basketball team lost 310 consecutive games, spanning an impressive 26 years. Even if you happened to be the star player, good luck getting a tryout with the Zalgiris Kaunas.
What happens when a Baptist church leads the charge in technology education? You get Morris College, this dreamy, "vintage" campus located in rural Sumter, South Carolina. At a mere $20,000 a year, the tuition is a steal, especially considering that you probably won't graduate. But if you do, expect your ROI to be a whopping -$107,000. Ouch. Not even thoughts and prayers can help you after that.
DeVry may be a household name, but then again, so is Charles Manson. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, graduates of DeVry earn less in the job market than they would had they never attended the school. That being said, if you've always wanted to brag to your Uber driver that you graduated from one of the only schools to be sued by the Federal Trade Commission, DeVry is worth a second look.
Columbia College Hollywood
This liberal arts school located about 20 miles from Hollywood was once voted the worst college in America. With a tuition roughly $10,000 above the national average, this school promises to connect students with 25,000 other aspiring flunkies as you make your way into $31,000 worth of debt. The good news? What other school could even tease the remotest possibility that Gary Busey becomes your professor?
A lot of great things have come out of the South Side of Chicago. Shimer College is not one of them. Deemed "the worst college in America," this tiny school is run like a democracy (if democracies included drug-fueled orgies with fruit). Comprised of only 80 students, this "classically radical, radically classical" school may prove too much for your new boss. Unless he knows the secret handshake of pelvis-thrusting a ripe watermelon, better not boast too loudly about your days at Shimer.