11 Kinds of People Who Are the Absolute Best to Bring to a Party
No matter what kind of party you’re attending, who you bring is just as important as what you bring. Whether it’s a keg-tapping, bottle-smashing rager, or a casual soiree where the strains of Verdi can be heard wafting lightly over a group of friends gathered around a nice bottle of Chianti, your plus-one can elevate the experience to the level of legends. Be prepared to have the best night of your life when you pair up with one of these 11 ultimate wingmen.
Photo: Jupiterimages (Getty Images)
Sounds familiar: 10 Obvious (And Amusing) Traits of the Functioning Alcoholic
Who's more charming and unpredictable than a murderous sociopath? Think of all the fun you'll have swapping stories and playing charades. Just don't let him cut the cake.
A Very Recent Stabbing Victim
Talk about the ultimate ice breaker. Hopefully your friend stays conscious long enough for you to really connect with that cute blonde by the punch bowl.
You'll be asking yourself why you didn't go out with your angry vegan friend sooner once he flips over the table with the charcuterie plate and buttermilk ranch. After he bites the birthday girl and holds her ice cream cake hostage, you'll be making plans to hang out again soon.
Who doesn't love a tipsy fanatic waving a gun in their face? Plus, you'll have loads to talk about as you unpack your opposing and intractable views on gun control laws. Super fun.
Psychic Ghost Hunters
The host will be thrilled when your ghost-hunting friend declares the house to be haunted by evil spirits. And what a story the guests will have when he cuts the breaker switch and begins performing a seance in total darkness next to the chips and dip.
Everyone knows mimes are the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Your friend spends the first three hours kindly trying to convert everyone and the last three hours bitterly condemning them all to an eternity of hellfire and damnation. Now that's a party.
The Drunkest Person You Know
A hit at every party is the guy who accidentally breaks furniture, makes lewd remarks at people he doesn't know, drinks all the beer, and vomits in the houseplant. Be the guy who brings that guy.
What better place for your fugitive buddy on-the-run to lie low for awhile then a 2-year-old's birthday party? After all, the judge said he's great with kids.
Political Nut Jobs
Alienating people because of their sex, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, and worldview, brings people together in wonderful ways. Not to mention, recent polls suggest single ladies are attracted to men with bigoted friends.
The Recently Divorced
There's nobody more grateful to be out of the house than a recently divorced person. Plus, their horror stories of a failed marriage will make casual sex look like the more sensible option to all the single people at the party.