How To Have Sex On All The Furniture: An Important Guide
Photo: Asiaselects (Getty)
If the bed were an ice cream flavor, it would be vanilla. Well, at least from a sexual perspective. While it is the rudimentary space for coitus, the best sex (in my opinion, at least) is that which challenges tradition — meaning, it likely won’t be happening in the bedroom. I’m not saying bedroom sex is bad, because it isn’t, but sometimes it’s better when done elsewhere, because it’s more spontaneous.
Since most homes are filled with the furniture I’ve presented below, there’s no reason to stay there when making whoopie. So head downstairs and have some fantastic sex on the following pieces of furniture, would you?
1. Rocking Chair
The trick to having sex in a rocking chair is for the male (you) to remain seated as the lady backs up until you’re engaged in the “Caboose” position (this means the male spoons the female while seated from behind). The rocking function of the chair makes thrusting effortless while the man’s hands are free to explore her body.
2. Office Swivel Chair
This piece of furniture puts the lady in charge. Sit down and have your partner sit on your lap while facing away. From here, she can do whatever she wishes. I recommend using the ergonomic arm rests for leverage, and somehow incorporate the swivel ability and wheels to your advantage. How? I’m not sure. Get creative!
3. Foot Rest
Ask your lady to get on her knees, rest her elbows on the foot rest, and spread her legs wide. Then you, the male, enter doggy-style, and thrust as hard as you’d like, as she can use her arms to stabilize herself and remain in the position.
4. Kitchen Counter
The countertop is usually the ideal height for the “butterfly” position, which is ideal for deep penetration. To do this, have the lady sit on the edge of the counter and spread her legs, allowing you to penetrate as you stand. From this position you can easily touch her breasts and her clitoris. Which you should always do.
Water may not be the best lubricant for sex, but the bathtub is one hell of a location for sensual coitus. Just draw a warm bath and the two of you can get intimate in the bubbles and ultimately go to town on each other. A tip? Turn the lights off and add candles. Because romance is always a nice touch.
6. Coffee Table
The female participant will lay down on the cool surface of the coffee table with her legs open and slightly bent. Then, placing your arms on either side of the table, perform a push-up as you lower yourself into her. This position is known as the “mountain climber.”
7. Park Bench
This one’s a bit more difficult. On the park bench (because public sex is so much hotter), lay her down so that only her shoulders and head are supported on the bench. You then must stand between her legs and lift them up to your waist, using those elevated hips to reach deeper than ever before.
8. Dining Room Table
You know how in the movies couples tend to swipe the dinner table of all food and destroy each other sexually in an erotic montage. Do that. And while you’re there, experiment with positions on top, alongside, and perhaps even under the table.
9. Bean Bag Chair
Kicking it old school. If you’re fortunate to still have a bean bag chair in your home, mold it to assist in any position you’d like to try. My advice, angle the chair so that her hips are elevated so you can penetrate deeper and stimulate the G-Spot. This will have a similar effect to placing a pillow under her hips during more traditional bedroom sex. Since the bean bag chair is soft and malleable, it lends itself to a variety of positions.
Using the width of the hammock, you must lay her down so that her upper back and head are supported by the hammock, then bring her legs up as high up as possible, spreading them wide. You should then lie down on top of her and enter missionary-style. A good thrusting motion will influence the hammock to swing, which feels just as fantastic as it is helpful.