Because she would probably slit her wrists if she's not constantly getting attention to silence the lambs of her horrific daddy issues and her new persona that's a house of cards studio marketing tactic built on the back of another culture, Miley Cyrus decided to post a video on Instagram of her masturbating. Why? I guess we'll find out on December 26th. She can't do it the day before because that's the day for her lord and savior Jesus Christ.
