E3 2014: Hyrule Warriors Hands-On Preview – Time to Kill 674,362 Bokoblins

I can’t wait to play more Nintendo games on the show floor tomorrow. Somehow amidst all the bustle, gameplay demos, demonstrations, and bags of free giveaway swag, I actually forgot to try many of the titles being shown by my favorite publisher of videogames. What’s that you say? Why didn’t I rush on the first day to play the new Super Smash Bros? Well of course I still did that, dummy. Sheesh, don’t insult me.

Hyrule Warriors, on the other hand, is a title I’m only just now getting to, and despite apprehensions concerning the game’s co-developer (Tecmo Koei and Team Ninja, the folks behind Metroid: Other M), I’m quite pleased to say that I walked away from the demo smiling. This doesn’t mean I thought everything about it was great, mind you, but it did manage to make me part my lips in an upward motion as I showed my teeth. So that’s something.

The thing about Hyrule Warriors I’m most amped for is the inclusion of multiple playable characters from various Zeldas, and I was downright overjoyed when it was revealed previously that Twilight Princess’s Midna would make an appearance on the game’s roster. Easily one of my favorite supporting characters in Zelda history, Midna’s appearance as a mocking and almost cruel persona early on in TP eventually yields an uncompromising friendship between her and Link, the likes of which not many games have since replicated. The point is, I really wanted to play as Midna, but the E3 demo of Hyrule Warriors only allows you to choose Link or Zelda. Boooo. I chose Zelda.

To be fair, this is the first time Zelda has ever been directly playable outside of Smash Bros (unlike Midna who steals the show each time Link becomes a wolf in Twilight Princess), and taking control of her more famous abilities like light arrows and magic in scenarios other than slaying Ganondorf is without question super cool. Decimating enough enemies slowly builds up a power meter, which when full can be used to to unleash a devastating special attack, which in this case just so happens to be an enormous and deadly light arrow straight to the face. Collect a few magic vials before jamming the special button, and you’ll pull off an even more ridiculous (and exceedingly stylish) manner of extinguishing foes. I only earned the super-special once, and mistakenly deployed it with almost no enemies nearby, so I basically felt like a complete fool. I can confirm that it looked awesome, though.

There’s not a ton to say about how the plot events of the demo progressed, because frankly Warriors’ gameplay can get a bit repetitive and samey. The game uses an onscreen notifier to let you know when other friendly characters have entered the area (I spotted Link scurrying about a number of times during the mission), and throughout battle your allies will utter encouraging and cheerful phrases or comment on the events at hand. The dialogue is rather un-Zelda like in that it lacks trademark grunts or any semblance of charm through the written word, but I don’t hold that against Hyrule Warriors. This is a weird alternate Hyrule where Midna and a non-Twilight Princess Link exist in the same space as moblin and bokoblin designs from Skyward Sword. If you haven’t jumped ship by now, you may as well just deal with it and enjoy yourself.

When the demo wrapped up, I’d probably slain over a thousand raving-mad goblins, a couple of miniboss-type foes, and one hulking, formidable dragon-head whose name I unfortunately cannot recall. It was definitely a fun experience, and I felt far from mastery (if not just discovering) of all the fighting combos and abilities the game has to offer. I even got to equip Zelda with some bombs, which she promptly used to destroy massive boulders blocking her path before shoving them down the throat of a hideous and contortedly scaly green boss creature. I’m not seeing anything that compares to the bosses of an actual Zelda game just yet, but I certainly haven’t given up hope on that front. It’s one area where Tecmo Koei have been known to deliver.

Hyrule Warriors is coming September 26th, so it’s not something we’re going to need to wait around for; it’s only a matter of time before the feeling of an outside-developed Zelda becomes familiar to all. The Nintendo rep guiding my demo told me that despite hints of otherwise and a general story framework to keep the game moving, the events of Hyrule Warriors are in no way canon and should not be taken as such. I’m a bit confused as to why you’d give the folks at Tecmo Koei full access to Zelda, only to invalidate their fiction and designate it to its own separate island beside the Zelda timeline mere weeks before it even releases to the public. It’s not rude, it’s just, well — protective. And for as wacky and unreasonable as Nintendo can sometimes be, I can’t say I really blame them. Zelda is just too important.

On second thought, I’ve never seen so many boobs in a Zelda game in my life. Team Ninja just had to meddle with their breast physics somewhere, didn’t they? OK Nintendo, maybe I understand your dilemma after all.

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