Asteroids Heading For Earth! Nonexistent Space Force Says ‘Not Really Our Thing’

You had one job, Space Force. When President Trump announced the nonsensical Space Force, people laughed. People scoffed. People consulted licensed psychologists to try and gain insight into the ranting, raving, rambling brain of a tired old man. Well, who’s laughing now? Jupiter, that’s who. Jupiter is laughing as she tauntingly hurls asteroids towards Earth.

Originally, scientists believed that Jupiter acted as a kind of shield for Earth, protecting our home planet from other hurling debris. Lately, however, a new theory has emerged that paints Jupiter as “a sniper, not a shield.” First of all, that’s an awesome way for anything to be described. But according to “space expert” Kevin Grazier, it’s starting to look like Jupiter may be foe as much as she is a friend.

Grazier told Gizmodo that “our simulations show that Jupiter is just as likely to send comets at Earth as deflect them away and we’ve seen that in the real solar system.” If only we had a vague, inefficient, and possibly non-existent military force to protect us from these deadly space objects! Who’s laughing, indeed.

Cover Photo: Science Photo Library- ANDRZEJ WOJCICKI (Getty Images)

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