Tennessee Gator, High on Meth, Swears Meth-Gators Aren’t Real (Claims That’s a Croc)

You thought you’d seen it all when you heard a Florida man (go figure) was arrested for allegedly drugging and raping swamp creatures in the Everglades, but that was all before police in Tennessee urged lazy drug addicts to quit flushing their meth down the toilet to avoid creating hyperactive alligators (and geese, apparently). But according to one local gator, “meth-gators” is just an old wives tales.

“That’s a croc of shit,” he told Mandatory. “If anything, it is more of a crocodile thing.”

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This new species of reptiles, the so-called “meth-gators,” have noticeable traits of neglecting close relationships, sudden shifts in social groups and criminal activity. If you notice this in your area, please speak to authorities about your local meth-gator problem. Signs a child has been intoxicated include high energy, lack of focus, fidgeting and erratic sleep behavior.

The fact remains, even if gators were high on meth, there are no such things as meth-gators. Leave the ghost stories for the kiddies.