The Grammys will be Pretty Boring

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Even though a Democrat is in the White House and therefore we should all be living in a hedonistic sex paradise, the Grammys have decided that flashing flesh anywhere near genitalia will destroy all of the children. Or something like that. New York Post reports:

CBS doesn’t want any wardrobe malfunctions at the Grammys.

The network tersely reminded all “talent appearing on camera” to cover up — especially “buttocks and female breasts” and the “genital region,” according to an internal memo exposed by Deadline Hollywood.

“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered,” a network suit wrote in the titillating email. Thong-type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare, fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples,” according to the internal memo. “Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.”

So now all you have to look forward to at the Grammys is Taylor Swift singing about five different guys in the audience and Justin Timberlake “premiering” his shockingly bad new song. Fortunately no one will actually be watching because the Grammys are shit.*

*Legal Disclaimer: Ms. Benjamin’s opinions do not reflect those of the editors, who don’t consider the Grammy an award at all.**

**Points in the comments for the first person who gets that totally stolen joke.


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