Although she lost the Oscar for Best Actress, Penelope Cruz found consolation at Prince’s Oscar party:
Penélope and Orlando couldn’t keep their hands off one another – they were making out the whole night,” says a witness. “It was crazy! Touching, kissing – even a little bit of groping. And in view of tons of actors, too, like Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Gosling.”
You have to give Orlando Bloom credit for seeing a vulnerable woman as an opportunity for sex, especially since he’s widely rumored to be a closet homosexual. I’m not saying he is, but considering his last two girlfriends were Kirsten Dunst and Kate Bosworth, the guy is pretty much asking for it. Kirsten Dunst looks like she was born in Chernobyl and Kate Bosworth should be standing behind barbed wire. You don’t need a psychiatrist to tell you that Orlando was probably really good at accessorizing his Barbie dolls and writing in his journal.
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A World Without Carrie
All Horror Films Star Grown Ups
Without Carrie the book, there would be no “Carrie” the movie. Without “Carrie” the movie, there would be no famous and successful mid-1970s horror movie with a teenage protagonist. Which means studios would continue to make horror movies about adults rather than about teens. Which means slasher movies would not be about babysitters and horny party kids, but blue-collar adult working types with bad backs and ulcers. Horror movies would not be about the person you will grow into, but losing your life as the person you are. Imagine A Nightmare on Elm Street or Halloween or Scream or The Ring featuring nothing but actors in their 40s. It changes your perspective on the movies, doesn't it?
Clive Barker Rules the Landscape
Without Carrie , Stephen King may have been a respected horror author, but he wouldn't be the reigning champ the way he is. That means, other horror contemporaries of his would be rearing to move into that coveted “top spot.” Of King's contemporaries, the most successful and well-recognized is probably British author Clive Barker, he of Hellraiser fame. That means a generation would have grown up far more intimately connected with bizarre sexual fantasy epics like Imajica , The Great and Secret Show and Cabal where books like 'Salem's Lot , The Shining , Misery , and Pet Sematary usually dwelt. Small town horror in Maine would not be the world of the day in horror lit, but pansexuality, dimension-hopping, and extreme fleshy gore. The ethos would be wholly different.
Brian De Palma Is a Cult Director
The biggest film that Brian De Palma made before Carrie was Phantom of the Paradis e, a cult film is ever there was one. Without the success of Carrie , De Palma may have easily have moved deeper into the bonkers avant-garde films that he always wanted to make, like The Demolished Man , a Dick-like sci-fi story that he never got around to filming. He would perhaps have skewed into artistry and the surrealist circuit, never breaking into Hollywood. That means there would be no Scarface , no Carlito's Way , no Dressed to Kill . De Palma would never has entered his “I wish I was Hitchcock” period, and would never be invited to make mainstream Hollywood entertainments like The Untouchables and Mission: Impossible . And without De Palma to push the envelope, film violence may have escalated far more slowly. Movies would have less blood in them without Carrie .
Moose Murders Would Be a Touchstone
Few people know details about the maligned Carrie musical, which is – briefly – the most notorious flop in Broadway history. It ran for 13 previews and 5 performances, closing three days after its opening, and losing millions of dollars. It's not the shortest running high-profile show in history, but it's close. The shortest running Broadway show of all time is often considered to be an obscure farce called Moose Murders which opened and closed on the same night in 1983. Without the famous Carrie flop, Broadway recklessness may have been at a higher ebb, and other ill-fated shows could have charged in. Without Carrie , maybe we would have had that E.T. musical no one has ever heard about.
Adam Sandler Would Not Have a Film Career
Adam Sandler, before he was knows as the enemy of all Hollywood decency, was known as a kinda funny “SNL” performer with a few goofy records. Adam Sandler's first rather successful record was 1993's “They're All Gonna Laugh At You,” which went double-platinum. That title, if I must remind you, is from Carrie , and the record features a sketch about that very line. Adam Sandler would not have had that sketch without Carrie . And he would not have had that title, or perhaps not enough material to make his record. Which means he would not have had the success and wherewithal to move into movies. He would not have made Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore or any of the films that built him up as comedy's reigning king. Odd the way that works.