I know Ashley Olsen is prancing around outside her hotel in her underwear trying to be sexy, but it’s just not working. In fact, it’s a little embarrassing. Like a kitten in high heels and a thong. You’re four feet tall and weigh about 70 pounds. Guys don’t want to have sex with you because they’re scared they might have register every time they leave the state. Not me though. With my Axe body spray and pink Izod, the boys are like putty in my hands. Sorry sista!
Fall 2013 TV Premiere Dates
Mon., Sept. 16
Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
Bones (Fox)
Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
Tues., Sept. 17
Dads (Fox)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox)
New Girl (Fox)
The Mindy Project (Fox)
Wed., Sept. 18
Survivor: Blood vs. Water (CBS)
Thurs., Sept. 19
Glee (Fox)
Fri., Sept. 20
Last Man Standing (ABC)
The Neighbors (ABC)
Shark Tank (ABC)
Mon., Sept. 23
Castle (ABC)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Two Broke Girls (CBS)
Mom (CBS)
Hostages (CBS)
The Voice (NBC)
The Blacklist (NBC)
Tues., Sept. 24
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)
The Goldbergs (ABC)
Trophy Wife (ABC)
Lucky 7 (ABC)
NCIS
NCIS: Los Angeles
Person of Interest
Chicago Fire
Wed., Sept. 25
The Middle (ABC)
Back in the Game (ABC)
Modern Family (ABC)
Nashville (ABC)
Criminal Minds (CBS)
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS)
Revolution (NBC)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
Thurs., Sept. 26
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
The Millers (CBS)
The Crazy Ones (CBS)
Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Elementary (CBS)
Parks and Recreation (NBC)
The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC)
Parenthood (NBC)
Fri., Sept. 27
Undercover Boss (CBS)
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)
Blue Bloods (CBS)
Junior Masterchef (Fox)
Sat., Sept. 28
48 Hours (CBS)
Sun., Sept. 29
Once Upon a Time (ABC)
Revenge (ABC)
Betrayal (ABC)
The Amazing Race (CBS)
The Good Wife (CBS)
The Mentalist (CBS)
Eastbound & Down (HBO)
Masters of Sex (Showtime)
Hello Ladies (HBO)
Mon., Sept. 30
We Are Men (CBS)
Wed., Oct. 2
Super Fun Night (ABC)
Ironside (NBC)
Thurs., Oct. 3
Scandal (ABC)
Welcome to the Family (NBC)
Sean Saves the World (NBC)
The Originals (CW)
Mon., Oct. 7
Hart of Dixie (CW)
Beauty and the Beast (CW)
Tues., Oct. 8
The Biggest Loser (NBC)
Wed., Oct. 9
Arrow (CW)
The Tomorrow People (CW)
American Horror Story: Coven (FX)
Thurs., Oct. 10
Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (ABC)
The Vampire Diaries (CW)
Reign (CW)
Sun., Oct. 13
The Walking Dead (AMC)
Tues., Oct. 15
Supernatural (CW)
Thurs., Oct. 17
White Collar (USA)
Fri., Oct. 25
Grimm (NBC)
Dracula (NBC)
The Carrie Diaries (CW)
America’s Next Top Model (CW)
Fri., Nov. 8
Raising Hope (Fox)
Mon., Nov. 4
Almost Human (Fox)
Sat., Nov. 23
Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor (50th Anniversary special) (BBC America)