Emma Thompson and Greg Wise faced years of heartbreak while trying to build a family. The couple welcomed their daughter after IVF, but later attempts to have another biological child brought repeated disappointment. Wise has now reported on the emotional strain those experiences put on their relationship. The trip left them feeling disconnected and unsure of what to do with their grief, he says.
Emma Thompson’s Husband, Greg Wise, recalls how fertility struggles left them disconnected
On Elizabeth Day’s How to Fail podcast, Wise opened up about the couple’s fertility struggles. He recalled that they had been together for three or four years when they decided to have a child, only to discover they could not conceive without help. After medical tests, they travelled to New York for IVF. Their first treatment worked, and they welcomed daughter Gaia in December 1999.
However, trying for a second child proved much harder. Wise said they tried again during Gaia’s second year, but each attempt ended in disappointment. “It’s brutal anyway, IVF, and it brings so much baggage with it,” he explained. He called it “the most authentic feeling of failure ever,” saying expectations about parenthood made the pain harder to manage.
Wise also struggled while watching Thompson face the physical demands of treatment. “She was undertaking all of this. All I could do was to support and try and soothe her rather than myself,” he recalled. He often put his own feelings aside to care for his wife, leaving them to grieve in different ways.
Therapy later helped Wise understand his emotions and recognize that he and Thompson needed different kinds of support. It also helped him reconnect with his wife after a long period of feeling apart. Although they did not have another biological child, they continued to build their family. In 2004, they informally adopted Tindyebwa Agaba Wise, a Rwandan refugee they had met the year before.
