Scientologist Erika Christensen was at some event yesterday that I didn’t bother to look up, because she stuffed her enormous rack into a black dress and made my penis question all he knew about God. Did an intergalatic C-130 really drop millions of people into a volcano and blow them up with an atomic bomb by order of Xenu? I think Jesus would be cool if I titty fucked her to get to the bottom of this.
Group of friends dancing and having fun together; Photo: Flashpop(Getty Images) A well-delivered toast can mean the difference between a…