WWE RAW Results (3/12) – Team Laurinaitis Gets Two Members, Jericho Digs Up Punk’s Past, Cena’s Rap & The Rock’s Concert

The Rock comes out and says he wants the fans to continue to get loud because they have broken a record by being the biggest sellout crowd for WWE in Cleveland. He brings up other sellouts and asks if anyone saw John Cena, because he thought they got the wrong Cena and tonight. Rock says this guy looked like Vanilla Ice had sex with a Teletubby, then he shows a picture and says tonight they will get something special. He sits down and strums on his guitar, then plays 'Jailhouse Rock' but changes the lyrics to say Cena sucks and he has a menstrual clock. Rock brings up fruity pebbles and says Cena has no balls, then sings that they are dancing because Cleveland rocks.

Rock asks if they want to hear a true story, and he talked to Cena's doctor and he said Cena asked for a rectal exam. He asks if they want to hear some gossip about Cena and Eve, because he saw something that they didn't. Rock sings about Cena pulling on her hair and says he has a wife, but there's a divorce lawyer down the street for him. He goes on to sing about Cena's birth and says he was born with lady parts but they are still dancing because Cleveland rocks. The crowd chants for him and Rock asks if there are any grown men there who are John Cena fans, then he finds a few in the crowds. He says he won't mess with them, then he changes his mind and asks the fans if he should and dedicates a song to them.

Rock sings about the male Cena fans being nerds and virgins, then he gets another 'Rocky' chant before asking where the ladies are tonight. He says they have a special connection and there is one woman at home who he would like to sing to right now, and says he will see her later. Rock sings about getting busy with Cena's mom and says she can barely walk, then he puts his guitar down and says there is only one way to end the night. He gets up and says he has a song for the millions, then says it goes like 'this' and waves his arm as 'We Will Rock You' starts to play. He adds his own lyrics to the verses then adds 'Cena Sucks' to the chorus, then thanks the fans for tonight and asks if they smell what he is cookin' as RAW ends. 

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