Smackdown for March 24th began with the Smackdown opening, followed by Tazz in the ring to interview The Big Show. Tazz asked Show about facing Akebono, pointing out that Big Show has no experience in sumo wrestling. They aired some clips of Akebono in sumo action. Tazz announced that Akebono would be on Smackdown next week for the official weigh-in for the match. Tazz and Show discussed how Akebono would probably outweigh him. Show said that even though Akebono would weigh more, Show is bigger.
Luther Reigns, in a suit and tie, drove out to the runway in a jeep. Reigns, getting the “What” treatment from the crowd, talked about how Big Show had no chance against Akebono, and that he was going to embarrass the entire Smackdown locker room. Reigns said he should be the one facing Akebono, and he was going to prove it by tipping over the jeep he drove out in. Luther took off his jacket and unsuccessfully tried to tip the jeep over. Big Show watched from the ring and laughed. Luther saw Show laughing, and ran to the ring. Reigns landed a few shots, but Show grabbed him and chokeslammed him to the mat. Big Show exited, but stopped to look at the jeep. Show ran into the side of the jeep, then started to rock it. The jeep kept bouncing back and forth on it’s tires. Show got frustrated, and slapped the windshield, cracking it. Show then tipped over the jeep (thanks to some creative editing that hid a jack they brought out at the taping).
Backstage, Eddie Guerrero was telling Chavo Guerrero to leave, saying he didn’t need him stirring things up between him and Rey Mysterio. Chavo said that Rey Mysterio was holding Eddie back. Chavo said Rey “stole” the victory from Eddie in their tag match last week, even though Eddie pointed out that Rey was the legal man in the match. Chavo continued to try and stir things up with Eddie, who kept telling Chavo he wasn’t buying it.
Hulk Hogan’s World Title win over Yokozuna at Wrestlemania 9 was shown, and they plugged Sylvester Stallone inducting Hogan into the WWE Hall Of Fame.
U.S. Champion Orlando Jordan, with JBL, vs. Scotty 2 Hotty. JBL mocked Scotty’s size, and then smacked him across the face with his cowboy hat. JBL shoved Scotty, who laid out JBL and Orlando with superkicks. Orlando rolled out of the ring, and Scotty gave JBL a bulldog. Scotty did the Worm and hit a chop, and JBL rolled to the floor. Orlando went to get into the ring, but JBL stopped him, saying he wanted Scotty. Scotty agreed, so we’ve got a new match.
JBL vs. Scotty 2 Hotty. JBL took off his jacket and got into the ring. He went for a clothesline, but missed. Scotty rebounded off the ropes, but JBL caught him with a fallaway slam. JBL hit a pair of elbowdrops, then whipped Scotty across the ring. Scotty charged in for an elbow, but JBL moved and then blasted Scotty with the Clothesline From Hell for the win. Winner: JBL.
Josh Mathews went to interview Kurt Angle, who poked his head out of his dressing room door and said that he would have a “blast” from Shawn Michaels’ past tonight.
Smackdown General Manager Theodore R. Long came out and acknowledged the entertainment value of Big Show tipping over a jeep. He then brought out some more entertainment, and introduced an Elvis Presley impersonator. Carlito Caribbean Cool, dressed as Elvis, came out, looking disgusted. Carlito complained about Long trying to embarrass him, then said he was going to prove that he could sing better than Elvis (which got over well with the Memphis crowd). Carlito did a lame version of “Jailhouse Rock”, messing up the words and trying to dance. Carlito stomped off as the fans booed him.
Backstage, Eddie Guerrero went up to Rey Mysterio, and mentioned that neither of them have a Wrestlemania match yet. Rey agreed that they belong on the show. Eddie said he had an idea for a match that no one could top, Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Rey laughed, and asked Eddie if he was serious. Eddie laughed, then said he was dead serious. Rey said Eddie caught him off guard, and said he wanted to talk about it later, after they defended their belts.
Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas were coming to the ring when the lights went out in the arena. Undertaker appeared on the screen, and said he couldn’t blame Randy Orton for trying to make a name off of him, but said that Orton slapping him and then running off like a coward last week has awoken “the beast”. Undertaker promised there would be a “victim” and a “sacrifice” tonight.
WWE Tag Team Champions Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio vs. Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas. Eddie and Rey entered together in the lowrider with the 619 cam. Holly grabbed a headscissors at the start, but Eddie broke right out. Holly grabbed a waistlock, but Eddie got out and tripped Holly to the mat. Eddie hit a shoulderblock, but Holly came back with a dropkick for two. Haas tagged in and worked on Guerrero’s arm, but Eddie hit a knee to the gut and tagged in Rey. Mysterio ducked a clothesline and tripped Haas into 619 position. Before Rey could do the move, the lights went out and thunder echoed in the arena. The lights came back on, but no Undertaker. The show then went to commercial.
Back from break, Holly suplexed Mysterio, but Guerrero broke up the cover. Haas tagged in and put Rey in a surfboard, but Mysterio kicked out of it. Haas whipped Rey across the ring, but Rey hit a pair of back elbows and a double boot to the face. Rey hit a springboard senton, then tagged Guerrero. Eddie hit a pair of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Guerrero dropkicked Holly off the apron, then hit the Three Amigos vertical suplexes on Haas. Guerrero went to the top rope but Haas rolled away, so Eddie dove off into a forward roll and got back to his feet. Holly went up behind Guerrero and gave him a full nelson slam. Haas crawled onto Guerrero for a two count. Guerrero whipped Haas across the ring, and into Rey on the apron. Haas suplexed Guerrero and put him in the Haas Of Pain, but Rey broke it up with a springboard legdrop. Holly came in and tried to powerbomb Mysterio, but Mysterio took Holly over the top rope with a rana. Eddie put Haas on the top rope, then tossed Rey up so he could take Haas to the mat with a rana. Eddie then backdropped Rey over the top rope into a plancha on Holly. Guerrero then hit Haas with the frog splash for the pin at the ten minute mark. Winners: Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio
Rey Mysterio got on the mic, and asked Eddie if he was serious about going to Wrestlemania and “tearing the house down” with a match against each other. Rey told Eddie he loved him, and that he accepted his challenge. Mysterio shook Eddie’s hand, and said that at Wrestlemania, they would tear the house down. Rey and Eddie then left the ring together.
They showed the famous Mike Tyson-Steve Austin confrontation from 1998, and hyped Austin’s appearance at Wrestlemania XXI, where he will be a guest in Piper’s Pit with Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Kurt Angle came out to Shawn Michaels’ music, dressed like HBK (except for an “X” written across his HBK T-Shirt). Angle danced out, then pointed to the entranceway and out came Sensational Sherri Martel, Michaels’ former manager. Angle and Martel got into the ring, with Angle doing all of HBK’s old poses with Sherri. Angle got on the mic, saying that he was going to prove that he was a better entertainer than Shawn Michaels tonight. Angle introduced Sherri to the crowd, saying she helped Michaels’ early in his career. Angle said he didn’t need help to win a gold medal. Angle said that it is Sherri’s voice that screams out “Oh Shawn!” at the start of HBK’s music. Angle had Sherri scream it out, then sang HBK’s song, with new lyrics about “Sexy Kurt” who will make your “ankle hurt”. Shawn Michaels appeared on the video screen, and commented that Sherri doesn’t look as good as she used to. Michaels then said that, since Raw fans had to watch a Kurt Angle retrospective this week, the Smackdown fans were going to get to watch a video package on HBK’s career. A video package then aired of Michaels’ career highlights, ending with some hype for Angle vs. Michaels at Wrestlemania. As the video package ended, it appeared Martel was getting emotional about seeing all the old clips of Shawn. Angle went up to her, and they exchanged words. Angle then pointed to his cheek, and Martel kissed it, but Angle then threw Sherri to the mat and put her in an ankle lock. Martel screamed and tapped on the mat, and officials came in to get Angle off of her. Angle smirked in the aisle as he left and the officials tended to Sherri.
Dawn Marie vs. Michelle McCool. This match was billed as a “Catfight”. Dawn attacked Michelle before the bell and snapmared her by the hair a few times. Dawn kicked Michelle in the back, then took the pad off of a middle turnbuckle. Michelle speared Dawn, and the two rolled around on the mat. Michelle kicked Dawn to the floor, and they went to the outside, where Michelle rammed Dawn into the barricade repeatedly. Michelle ripped off the top of Dawn’s outfit (she had another top underneath), and rolled her into the ring. Dawn ripped at Michelle’s T-Shirt. The lights started flickering, but no Undertaker. Michelle hit some punches, but Dawn kicked her in the gut. Dawn went to drop toe hold Michelle into the exposed turnbuckle, but Michelle missed it. Dawn picked up Michelle and smacked her head first into the exposed steel, then pinned her, using the ropes for leverage at the three minute mark. Winner: Dawn Marie.
Carlito Caribbean Cool was walking out, when Funaki, Smackdown’s Number One Announcer, approached him. Cool said he was taking a break from his Elvis duties, but Funaki said it looked like he was leaving. Carlito told Funaki that if Elvis was here, he would spit in his face. Carlito shoved Funaki and left, leaving Funaki with his Elvis-style sunglasses. Funaki put them on, and started to sing Jailhouse Rock, but Carlito came up behind him and blasted him with his guitar. Carlito told the unconscious Funaki to tell Theodore R. Long that “Carlito has left the building” and Carlito walked off.
The Taxi Driver-spoof for Wrestlemania was shown. Tazz made fun of Michael Cole for not wearing a T-Shirt in the commercial. They plugged the WWE Movie Trailer Awards on WWE.com.
Booker T vs. Rene Dupree. Booker grabbed a hammerlock at the start, but Dupree came back with some chops. Booker hit a sidekick, but Dupree responded with right hands. Dupree ran into a Booker boot, but Booker ran into a Dupree powerslam. Dupree hit a clothesline in the corner and stomped Booker down. Dupree did the French Tickler dance, and the lights went out at the two minute mark. When they came back on, the ring was filled with smoke, and the Undertaker was standing behind Dupree. Booker, seeing Undertaker, rolled out of the ring and headed up the aisle. Dupree turned around, and Undertaker chokeslammed him. Taker stomped Dupree to the floor, then rammed him into the barricade and whipped him into the ringsteps. Taker hit Dupree with a section of the steps, then picked him up and gave him a tombstone piledriver into the larger section of the ringsteps. Undertaker’s eyes rolled back into his head as he stood over the downed Dupree. Results: No contest.
They replayed Undertaker’s piledriver and said that Rene Dupree had been rushed to the hospital. They also replayed Big Show overturning the jeep from earlier tonight, and again mentioned that Akebono would appear next week for the weigh-in.
Smackdown General Manager Theodore R. Long introduced JBL for his debate with John Cena. They showed a clip of JBL (with Linda McMahon, who was not mentioned) ringing the closing bell at Wall Street yesterday. They went to commercial as JBL was walking to the ring.
After the break, John Cena entered as we were reminded that Cena cannot touch JBL, otherwise he loses his title match at Wrestlemania. JBL reiterated this rule as Cena wrapped his chain around his fist. Long said that if JBL physically provokes Cena, then Cena can retaliate. The debate had a question and answer format. The first question, for JBL, was why did he believe he was more qualified to be WWE Champion. JBL started bragging about his upbringing, then put over his long WWE Title reign. He even took a shot at Triple H (“that guy on the other show”) saying he lost his belt nine times, while JBL had never lost his belt.
Cena then had his turn, and he wondered why someone as successful as JBL would drive around in a broken down limo. JBL said the limo was fine, and Cena went up to the limo. Cena slashed a tire, and said there was a flat tire on the limo. JBL complained to Long, who said that if Cena wasn’t touching him, there was nothing he could do about it. Cena spray painted “JBL Sucks” on the side of the limo. Cena made fun of JBL for driving a car that says he sucks on it. Cena got back in the ring, and tried to goad JBL into hitting him. JBL kept his cool and asked what the next question was.
The next question was whether the economical and social upbringing of a person mattered in being a champion. JBL cut a promo on Cena, calling him a criminal and saying the only way he will ever be rich is by stealing or winning the lottery. JBL promised to make Cena bow to him at Wrestlemania. Cena played the rebel, saying he might look better in a suit and tie. Cena took a pair of scissors and cut JBL’s tie, then tucked it in his basketball jersey. Cena dared JBL to hit him again, saying JBL was looking like a “total jerk”. Cena stuck out his chin, and JBL took off his jacket, but didn’t take the shot.
Long was about to ask the third question, but Cena interrupted it and said he wondered what it would take to get JBL to take a swing at him. Cena said he was about to prove JBL to be a liar. Cena grabbed JBL’s cowboy hat off of his head (not touching him). Cena said it was a ten-gallon hat, so he was going to see how many gallons it would hold. Cena then emptied two pitchers of water into it, and said it couldn’t even hold a single gallon, so JBL was a liar. Cena put the hat back on JBL’s head, dumping the water on him. Cena dared JBL to take a punch, promising to “knock the hell out of him” if he did. JBL still wouldn’t take a swing. Cena laughed at JBL for allowing himself to be made a fool of. Cena then spraypainted a yellow streak on JBL’s back. Cena spraypainted FU in red on JBL’s chest, and walked off, while JBL wrecked the podiums and tables in the ring to end the show.
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