Kevin McElvaney’s Take on ECW – 12/06/2007 edition

Kevin McElvaney

I went to tune into ECW this Tuesday, at 10 PM, as that is the usual airtime. When I saw Sci-Fiâ<80><99>s original movie, Tin Man, on my TV, I did two things. First, I immediately turned the channel, as I had absolutely zero interest in watching that garbage. Secondly, I remembered that ECW would be airing on Thursday this week.

As such, I made plans to tape ECW, while watching Impact as it aired. After watching the ECW tape, I have to say that it wasnâ<80><99>t exactly â<80><9c>canâ<80><99>t-missâ<80> television. With that said, it was a solid hour of programming, and certainly an improvement over last week.

The show opened up with everybodyâ<80><99>s favorite makeshift tag champs, John Morrison and The Miz, stampeding over another Smackdown tag team. This week, it was former ECW brand Superstars, The Major Brothers. It was a fairly entertaining match, though it was pretty short. I donâ<80><99>t think it did much for The Major Brothers, but it gave Morrison / Miz another win.

A vignette aired for Kofi Kingston. Heâ<80><99>s been in WWE developmental and is supposed to be talented, but Iâ<80><99>ve never seen him wrestle. Anyway, I wrote a column two weeks ago about how similar WWE is to old beach movies. This vignette was, seriously, straight out of an old beach movie. Kingston saved a somewhat flabby guy from a muscular beach bully, who was making the weak guy look stupid. Kingston buried the bully up to his neck in sand. I canâ<80><99>t decide if this was funny or lame, and I may not form an opinion until I see a few more of these.

Back in the ring, Balls Mahoney and Kelly Kelly took on Kenny Dykstra and Victoria. Balls pinned Kenny in a feel-good affair. Kenny Dykstra has fallen a long ways – not because heâ<80><99>s losing to Balls, but just because he hasnâ<80><99>t done anything of interest in a long while. I read a report on this very site earlier in the week about the Balls / Kelly storyline being â<80><9c>scrapped,â<80> but it doesnâ<80><99>t seem like this is true. Iâ<80><99>m actually a fan of the pairing, so I hope it stays.

Shelton Benjamin cut another promo. He still seems like he could use a little more confidence, when talking. This is unfortunate, since he’s playing a cocky heel character. Shelton can more than carry himself in the ring. Shouldnâ<80><99>t this be okay in ECW, of all places? Rob Van Dam? Jerry Lynn? Amish Roadkill? â<80>~Nuff said.

Shelton defeated another sorely under-utilized wrestler, Jimmy Wang Yang, in a too-short match. It was great watching these guys lock up. Whyâ<80><99>d it have to be so brief? Shelton using a DDT as a finisher sounds good, to me. Itâ<80><99>s such a believeable and effective looking move – especially the way he pulls it off.

Kevin Thorn vs. Jeff Lewis. Funny, I thought Scrubs ended an hour ago! (Oh, I am just too funny with my smarky terminology.) Seriously, with a look at the names, you know who won this one. Actually, â<80><9c>Kevin Thornâ<80> couldâ<80><99>ve been a preliminary wrestler on WWF Superstars, years ago. So, provided you know who Thorn is, you know who won this one. The man who shares my first name scored the pinfall, following his version of Abyssâ<80><99> Shock Treatment. Standard match to build Thornâ<80><99>s character.

Main event time! CM Punk was allowed to face his choice of either Big Daddy V or Mark Henry. Unable to decide, he chose to flip a coin. It came up tails, which meant the man who chased Mae Youngâ<80><99>s tail: Mark â<80><9c>Donâ<80><99>t Call Me Sexual Chocolateâ<80> Henry. Predictably, Big Vis interfered in this one, costing Henry the match by DQ. The real losers were the fans, as it just means many more weeks of this storyline.

After the match, Henry and V attacked Punk, who was saved by Kane. Tag team main event next week, much?

Well, thatâ<80><99>s about everything. Now, itâ<80><99>s time to rate this weekâ<80><99>s episode. Standard storyline advancements this week. Sheltonâ<80><99>s match couldâ<80><99>ve gone longer, had his promo been cut out or shortened to a backstage thing. I think this wouldâ<80><99>ve helped him. Punk should feud with V or Mark Henry, but not both. And, finally, Morrison and Miz need actual challengers. Those are my gripes.

I give ECWâ<80><99>s writers credit this week, as they actually prominently featured the brandâ<80><99>s champion. Not having Punk on last week, in any capacity, when he appeared on Friday Night Smackdown, was an outright travesty. Four matches went down this week. None of them went too long but, for the most part, each match made me somewhat more interested in a storyline. In the end, thatâ<80><99>s what matters.

ECW on Sci-Fi, the December 6, 2007 edition, gets a 6/10.

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