Whoa! What a totally amazing episode of ECW! Never in a million years did I think WWE’s “third brand” would bring us all of the excitement which it did tonight. Let’s take it from the top.
The show opened up with new ECW champion Kane squashing Chavo Guerrero in a rematch. Afterwards, Kane was beaten down by Chavo, with the help of Elijah Burke, Shelton Benjamin, and Miz and Morrison. Looks like they’re starting some sort of stable with those guys. Anyway, the real news came from the absolutely OUT OF NOWHERE save which occurred during this segment.
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEELL!!!!!”
I know! I couldn’t believe it either, but there he was…The Great One. And on EC F’n W of all brands! I guess this was an experiment to see if people would actually tune in to the smaller brand and to, perhaps, make others do so in the future. Predictably, Kane and Rocky cleaned house. I’m guessing this was just a one-off appearance, but man oh man…
Up next, we saw Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney take on Miz and Morrison in a tag title match. Believe it or not, guys, Dreamer and Delaney WON the straps! I guess this means that Colin Delaney is “under contract” now. Otherwise, this storyline has more holes than delicious Alpine Lace swiss. Kudos to Tommy and Colin on the big title win!
After that, we saw a rematch of last week’s mixed tag match. Kelly Kelly teamed up with Stevie Richards to take on Layla El and Mike Knox. Knox and Layla won again and then, after the match, the arena went dark…
IT WAS THE BOOGEYMAN! Making his triumphant return to ECW, WWE’s most famous worm slurper startled Knox and Layla enough that both fled the ring. Boogeyman and Kelly both checked on Richards, who was down on the outside. Don’t worry, folks, he’s not really hurt!
Then, in the night’s main event, we saw CM Punk take on Shelton Benjamin. The match ended with Punk scoring the pinfall, but the real story wasn’t there. In fact, it was in the bout’s aftermath.
Punk was attacked by none other than the returning…GREGORY HELMS!!
It looks like he’s back a little sooner from injury and, for that matter, will be inserted into a meaningful feud with a great wrestler, pronto.
Amazing ending to the show…10 / 10 for this week’s edition of ECW on Sci-Fi.
Oh wait, I’m sorry. I forgot to mention one other thing…
APRIL FOOL’S!
Okay, so it’s after 12 PM, which is against the April Fool’s etiquette. Sue me. It was April 1st and I had to do SOMETHING!
And now my actual review:
It was an alright show, with not much to say about the particulars. Mike Knox beat Stevie Richards in what was your run-of-the-mill Val Venis match…with Richards being Val, of course.
Colin Delaney got squashed by the Big Show, after Armando Estrada got Delaney with an April Fool’s joke about a WWE contract. The words “April Fool’s” got a big pop from the crowd, followed by boo’s when they realized what Armando had done. How much longer are they going to play out the “no contract” angle? No one really believes it, because it’s not believable. We’ve been told to believe worse, though!
The main event was a good showcase of the four top stars of the show. My major qualm was with Chavo’s eagerness to face the team of Kane and Punk. Shouldn’t he, as a true heel, be at least a little bit timid? Perhaps that’s just my definition of a heel. It’s all pretty subjective.
Apart from that, the show was filled with WrestleMania recaps and a video package from Monday’s Raw, with the touching Flair ceremony. All amazing stuff, of course, but it made ECW reek of Sunday Night Heat…which is one of the harshest criticisms leveled at it.
Actual ECW rating for April 1: 6 / 10.
Kevin McElvaney is also a contributing writer for Pro Wrestling Illustrated and The Wrestler / Inside Wrestling.
