source: 411mania.com
Vickie may as well have brought Edge a hooker rather than paying for a Wedding Planner, because this wedding did not go as planned.
We get highlights of Edge and Vickieâ~s relationship, and their marriage earlier today. Chavo pretends he forgot the rings. The both say “I do” and they are married. Tonight will be the Wedding Reception. The entrance way is decked out, there’s a table, La Familia are out with the Wedding Planner and they bring out Chavo Guerrero, the best man. And now for the first time in public as husband and wife, Edge and Vickie! Chavo says Vickie found a keeper in Edge and Edge is like the brother he never had. He that Guerrero wild side, but he tells Vickie he’s a changed man. The love they share is the greatest love of all. Chavo feels blessed to be here to watch their love blossom and it is an honour to be Edge’s best man and to be by his side on Sunday when he celebrates winning the WWE Championship from Triple H. As a wedding gift, Chavo has a photoshopped WWE Magazine cover with Edge as champion on the front. Edge says today is the most important day of his life.
Finlay and Hornswoggle are out for the opening match. Edge gets on the mic and says they cheat week in and out, so Edge will be the special guest referee.
Jim Ross and Mick Foley welcome us to the show as Edge and his boys make their way to the ring. Edge tosses the shillelagh.
Finlay and Hornswoggle vs. Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins
Special Referee: Edge
Hawkins and Finlay lock up and Edge shoves Finlay away from the corner. Edge does the same thing again and Finlay gets blind sided by Hawkins. Ryder in with rights to the gut and head of Finlay and a neckbreaker gets 2. Ryder grabs a neck vice, Finlay fights out but gets booted in the corner. Ryder runs into a boot though and gets clothesline. Horny is used as a battering ram and Edge grabs Horny, but he slips out of his jacket. Finlay tries to Celtic Cross Edge, but Hawkins gets a chop block and Edge spears Finlay! That gets Hawkins and Ryder the win.
Winners: Hawkins and Ryder
Edge heads back up to the entranceway and it’s first dance time!
The First Dance~!
Edge and Vickie are center stage. We put a spotlight on them and we have a live male and female vocalist singing. The bride and groom are all smiles as they dance, Hawkins and Ryder applaud and the fans boo. It’s a beautiful scene, really. Oh, but here’s Big Show. He pushes Edge aside and steps in with Vickie! Edge cuts the music, and doesn’t blame Show for wanting to dance with Vickie. Edge knows who Show’s opponents are for tonight, so he should get to the ring right now. We head to our first commercial break.
4-On-1 Handicap Match: Vladimir Kozlov, The Great Khali, MVP and Shelton Benjamin vs. Big Show
Shelton stars but gets overpowered as JR says Shelton meets Matt Hardy at The Bash for the US title. MVP tagged in, dodges a jab and tags Kozlov. He locks up with Show, attempts a Judo throw and fails. Khali tags himself in and they go nose to nose. Khali shoves Show, Show shoves back and they slug it out, but Big Show floors Khali with a clothesline. Boot for Benjamin, elbow for Kozlov, beale for MVP, headbutt for Shelton, DQ for them all being in the ring. Head chop by Khali, thrust kick by Shelton and a running big boot by MVP. Kozlov adds a headbutt. Khali hits the Khali Bomb and they leave Show lying.
Winner: Big Show by DQ
La Familia applaud the beatdown as we go to break.
Throwing The Bouquet~!
Vickie is in the ring with a bouquet of flowers, but they won’t let her talk. She eventually says it is wedding tradition to gather all eligible bachelorettes and see who can catch the wedding bouquet. On the floor, Michelle McCool brawls with Natalya Neidhart! Hawkins and Ryder drag McCool away. Vickie tosses the bouquet, and Cherry grabs it. Vickie says she is happy for her, because she was worried about her because she thought she was never going to get married. Catching the bouquet has entitled her to a match against⦠“me!” But firstâ¦
Natalya vs. Cherry
Neither are dressed to compete, but oh well. Natalya trashes the bouquet in Cherry’s and locks in a very hot sharpshooter for the submission win.
Winner: Natalya
“Now it’s my turn!” �” Vickie Guerrero
Vickie Guerrero vs. Cherry
Vickie covers, and that’s that.
Winner: Vickie Guerrero
“And the winner is, the Bride!” �” Vickie Guerrero. To the commercial we go.
Brian Kendrick w/ Ezekiel vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
Kendrick has a new white and gold jacket and new tights and new music and a new big black bodyguard apparently called Ezekiel. Apparently, this is the real Kendrick. JR says he always thought Kendrick was a good guy bu Foley says he’s always been a jerk. Kendrick doesn’t want a handshake. Hammerlock, reversed by Yang into a headlock takeover. Kendrick fights out, Yang counters into the hammerlock and Kendrick grabs the ropes. He charges into a drop toehold and then takes a hurricanrana. Yang clotheslines Kendrick to the floor but misses a plancha but lands on his face. Ezekiel provides the distraction for a Kendrick flying forearm. Back in, Kendrick works the arm with wrenches and kicks and a modified arm bar. Yang fights back but gets hammerlock-slammed. Kendrick hits a running punt to the arm for 2. Kendrick applies a keylock as the boring chant starts up. Yang counters with an arm drag and gets 2 off of a backslide, then hits a missile dropkick for 2 more. Yang hits a modified enzuigiri for another near fall. He heads up top but Ezekiel provides the distraction again and Kendrick throws Yang down. Sliced Bread no. 2 finishes it.
Winner: Brian Kendrick
Kendrick puts his jacket back on and walks out like a drunk.
Mr. Kennedy is out, and apparently La Familia don’t like him. He runs through his usual mic work, which is ridiculously over again.
Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga
Kennedy gets shoved down but goes right back on offence with clubbering blows and right hands but gets caught with an uppercut. He comes back again though with more rights, but this time he gets floored by a shoulder block. Umaga misses a head butt though and Kennedy fires off with more right hands, telegraphs Umaga but falls victim to a massive clothesline. Umaga slaps him around and then hits a head butt. Measured right hand by Umaga drops Kennedy and we are now at a methodical pace, people. Kennedy blocks a cannonball with two knees and again goes to the right hands and hits a running splash, but then runs into a reverse elbow. Umaga stands on him for a bit, then sends Kennedy to the other corner. More hard Irish whipping now. A big leg drop gets a 2 count for Umaga. Stiff kick by Umaga, but again Kennedy comes back only to get slowed down. NERVE HOLD~! Urgh. Kennedy comes back again but takes a head butt and the hold is still locked in. Kennedy finally gets out of the hold but runs into a big knee buried deep into the gut. And we are back to the nerve hold. Kennedy is fading, the arm drops twice, but Kennedy rallies back with some fan support, gets to his feet, elbows out and runs right into a SAMOAN DROP! We go to commercial.
We come back and Umaga kicks Kennedy n the face and goes back to the nerve hold, but this time it is quickly broken. Kennedy tries to slam Umaga but Umaga falls back on him for 2. And back to the damn nerve hold we go. Foley points out that Kennedy’s damaged right arm couldn’t hold the wait of Umaga. Kennedy fights out again and runs into an uppercut and is out again. Umaga goes to the second rope and shockingly misses a diving head butt. Rights by Kennedy, forearms, avoids a charge and Umaga gets posted. Kennedy hits a roundhouse kick and gets 2. Mic Check try, blocked, SAMOAN SPIKE and it’s over.
Winner: Umaga
We finally learn the Wedding Planner’s name, Lisa Fox. And SmackDown just got a whole better with the arrival of our tag team champions.
Non-Title Match: The Miz and John Morrison vs. Jesse and Festus
Festus goes all spaz when the bell rings but our awesome tag champs are too smart to hang around in the ring. Jesse starts with the vastly superior Morrison, and Jesse sends Morrison flying with a high angle overhead throw. Festus in and hits a vicious uppercut followed by a fallaway slam and a head butt. Jesse in and Festus slams him onto Morrison. Jesse hits a monkey flip and heads up top, and hits a crossbody for 2. Morrison runs into an elbow but Miz’s distraction allows Morrison to take Jesse down with a clothesline. Miz in off the tag and he grabs a neck vice. Jesses fighs out but Miz tries, and fails to stop the tag. Cleaning house time for Festus with clotheslines and cheap shots and running shoulder tackles. Big boot to Morrison and a bicycle kick for Miz. FLYING BISCUIT to Miz. Jesse in and an assisted crossbody gets 2. Festus tosses Morrison to the floor then runs into the ringpost. In the ring, the Reality Check gets the win for Miz!
Winners: Miz and Morrison
From The Vault �” Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy from Great American Bash 2006. This was an infamous show because half of the card got changed due to a bunch of wrestlers’ “elevated enzymes.”
The Bash:
NYC Parking Lot Brawl �” John Cena vs. JBL
World Title �” CM Punk vs. Batista
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
WWE Title �” Triple H vs. Edge
Non-Title Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
By order of the Bride and Groom
They come out together despite the fact that they are singles wrestlers. They throw the wedding cake at Chavo on their way down to the ring. They lock up. Jeff grabs a hammerlock, Matt reverses into one his own and grabs a side headlock. Jeff reverses out with an arm wrench, but soon gets taken over with a hip toss. They stand off and Matt gets a quick 2 off of a roll up, Matt blocks a Twist of Fate and Jeff hits WHISPER IN THE WIND but doesn’t bother covering. Jeff gets 2 off of a pinning combination. Matt tosses him but Jeff skins the cat only for Matt to clothesline him over to the floor. Matt sets up for the Twist of Fate, but it’s blocked and Jeff hits his rope-assisted corner dropkick for 2. Jeff blocks a side effect and gets a knockdown, goes up top and misses the Swanton Bomb. Matt heads up top now and hits a MOONSAULT for 2. But here’s La Familia beating down both men.
Winner: No Contest
They put the boots to Jeff and pick up so Edge can SPEAR him. Same thing for Matt.
After a commercial, La Familia are in the ring. Edge now understands that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. Words can’t express how much he loves Vickie. Edge has had the production crew put together a video montage. It’s the same sort of thing we’ve seen before; cheesy music and make out scenes. Once it’s over, Triple H comes out. He has a big gift box with him that may or may not contain a sledgehammer. He can tell that they’re not happy to see him. That’s understandable because he has a reputation for these weddings. Ha. But he’s not out here to tell us that he is secretly married to Vickie Guerrero. He is here for the same reason all of these people are her for, and that is to celebrate true love. It warms his heart and with that in mind he has some gifts. He knows Edge just showed a very impressive video, and while he didn’t have the resources or time to make such a video, but he feels his video is special in its own way. A hidden camera shows Edge with the wedding planner. He says he wants to know a few things about the wedding and make sure things are OK. They talk plans as Edge sniffs her. Triple H says he can see Edge isn’t pleased, so we’ll skip to the good stuff. Edge talks about his soft side and has the girl smell a white rose and compliments her scent. Edge fakes his trapezoid locking up on him, so she massages him. Triple H pauses the video again. Edge says he had neck surgery so it tightens up on him. Triple H says lots of guys bring women up to their rooms while their wives aren’t there; it means nothing. Edge sets La Familia on The Game. He says he thought this might happen, which brings him to gift number two. He gets the sledgehammer out of the box. They want no part of that and we go back to the video. Now Edge is massaging her. Edge moves the talk to lingerie. He went to a shop and they didn’t have Vickie’s size. Edge reveals Vickie wears huge granny panties. We pause again. “This is awkward” �” Triple H. He’s embarrassed. He didn’t watch this before he made it, and this part kills gift number three �” granny panties. “What the hell, I can always park my car under it.” We get to the final chapter. Edge calls her Alicia, contradicting what JR called her earlier. Edge removes her glasses and goes in for the kiss, but she says she wants to get out of there. Edge says she should stay. They kiss, she pulls away, and then they make out. Lovely. Triple H finds the whole thing very amusing. Vickie screams at Edge and starts tearing at his clothes. The wedding planner bails. Edge gets the hell out of there too as an hysterical Vickie screams the house down as we go off the air.
Nick was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and lived there until the age of 18, when he decided to pack his flack jacket and move to New York City.
