TNA iMPACT! Results – August 7, 2008

Nick Paglino

TNA Impact on Spike TV

Taped in Orlando, FL

Results courtesy of

Footage aired promoting tonight’s eight man tag team tables match. They also plugged an eight man gauntlet weapons match, although the TNA website called it a ten man match.

The opening video once again featured the TNA Impact video game. Don West welcomed us to the show as Mike Tenay stood in the middle of the ring. He put over the main event at Hard Justice before sending it to Jeremy Borash in the crowd. JB talked about the tables match tonight and he sent it up to Lauren and BG James. James said it was “hotter than 40 pounds of stuff in a wool sock.”

1. Roxxi defeated Jacqueline in a Knockout Bimbo Brawl with Traci Brooks as the special guest referee in 4:00. Jacqueline scored a nearfall early from the left handed Traci. Jacqueline used a chair and a couple of cookie sheets to her advantage, scoring a couple of nearfalls. After some solid action, Roxxi hit the Voodoo Drop for the win.

Lauren interviewed Christian Cage and Rhino backstage and asked Cage about possibly going through a glass table again. Cage said he will never forget the feeling of being in the emergency room for four hours. Cage said Team 3D is the best team of all time only because he became a singles wrestler. Rhino grabbed the mic and asked Team 3D what they were going to do when he set the glass table up in the corner and gored them through it.

JB interviewed SoCal Val backstage. Super Eric came in and told her that Sonjay Dutt stole her ring. She looked absolutely shocked.

2. Sonjay Dutt defeated Curry Man in 2:07. About a minute into the match, Val came out and screamed at Sonjay. With Curry on the offensive, they kept showing reaction shots of Val. Sonjay scored the pin with his feet on the ropes.

After the match, Sonjay retreated up the ramp but was met by Shark Boy. Super Eric pulled the ring out of Sonjay’s tights. Val started to scream and cry at Sonjay. Sonjay defended himself by saying the ring fell onto his hospital bed and that he slept with it under his pillow. Val forgave and hugged Sonjay, and he looked relieved because he knew he got away with it.

Team 3D and Beer Money were backstage with Lauren. She asked why they were having a no DQ match instead of a normal wrestling match. Ray said a regular wrestling match was like sleeping with Lauren: boring. He said he has heard stories. They gave their usual promo.

Sheik Abdul Bashir said the rest of the world hates America. “What are you going to when you have enough trash to fill an entire state? Are you going to name it New Jersey?” He said the rest of the world is sticking it to us with high gas prices.

3. Black Machismo and Consequences Creed defeated The Motor City Machine Guns in 7:42. Shelley and Lethal shook hands after a minute long exchange. Sabin and Creed tagged in. Creed scored a one count with a big closeline. Sabin locked in an Octopus on Lethal. Tenay and West talked about the gauntlet match instead of calling the match.

Shelley flew onto Machismo onto the floor. Sabin was able to score a two count as a result. The Gun scored a two count after the surfboard/bulldog double team move. Creed finally received the hot tag and scored a long two count with a TKO. Creed scored a nearfall on both men with a high crossbody. Lethal took out Sabin on the floor. In the ring, Creed scored the pinfall on Shelley after a rollup.

After the match, Shelley and Sabin shook hands with Lethal but not with Creed.

Karen Angle had Frank Trigg as her guest. Frank was hilarious here. He said he broke into MMA with the help of his supportive wife. He called Karen a cheater and started to hit on her. She slapped him. Some fat production went down with one left hand from Trigg. Frank and Karen called each other pathetic.

A video aired of the history between Kurt Angle and AJ Styles.

JB interviewed Kurt Angle backstage. Angle called himself the best wrestler ever. He said he took Styles under his wing and turned a nobody into a somebody. He said it was personal and he was going to hurt Styles, beginning tonight.

Lauren interviewed Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, and Awesome Kong backstage. Love sent Lauren on her way because she had bigger sluts to fry. She called their trio Beauty and the Beast and referred to Kong as “Queen Kong.” She said Kong liked Chinese, pure white bread, and dirty beotches, referring to their opponents at Hard Justice. Velvet gave the camera a big kiss.

4. LAX, Christian Cage, and Rhino defeated Team 3D and Beer Money in a no DQ match in 7:38. LAX’s gunshots at the beginning of their music reminds me of the trailer for the new movie “Pineapple Express.” All eight men brawled at the beginning of the match. Rhino hit gores on all four of opponents. Homicide hit a somersault plancha followed by Hernandez jumping over the top onto his opponents on the floor.

With most of the competitors on the floor, Beer Money and LAX wrestled in the ring. Ray hit a second rope superplex on Hernandez. Cage came in and took a very high back body drop from Ray. Basically, all of the wrestlers traded time in and out of the ring hitting big moves. Homicide scored the pin.

After the match, the heels attacked all four members of the face team. They brought a glass table into the ring. Team 3D was setting up Rhino to go through the table but Beer Money snuck in and put Homicide through the table instead. Team 3D was not pleased.

A TNA Rough Cut segment aired on Taylor Wilde. She said something about working her way up from the bottom, even though she won the belt right away. The female roster made comments about everyone going after Wilde and the championship.

5. Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed and The Beautiful People) defeated Salinas in :33. Kong hit the Awesome Bomb for the quick win.

After the match, Angelina and Velvet got on the mic to mock Salinas. She told their Hard Justice opponents to watch because they were previewing what would happen to them at the PPV. She told Kong to continue the beating and she gave Salinas an Implant Buster.

She was going to hit an Awesome Bomb on a chair when Gail Kim, ODB, and Taylor Wilde finally came down to stop the attack. Taylor had some success for a moment but Kong was able to overpower her with a closeline. Before she could give her the Awesome Bomb, Abyss came down to the ring.

Raisha Saeed slapped Abyss in the face. He eyeballed the chair and picked it up. He considered using the chair before Saeed took off. Some security guard grabbed the chair from Abyss and paid for it in the form of a Blackhole Slam.

JB interviewed Booker and Sharmell in his sweet locker room. Booker called JB “Jeremiah.” Booker said he proved Joe could not beat him. Booker called himself the champion. He said tonight’s match was a 10-man gauntlet.

JB asked if Sting would be at Hard Justice. Booker said he would be at Hard Justice and here tonight on Impact as well. The three held up their champagne glasses and Booker toasted himself.

Lauren interviewed Joe in his locker room. Joe wondered where Sting has been over the last three weeks and called him a coward. Joe said he was coming for his belt and there was nothing Booker could do about it.

A video aired of Booker T leaving the last PPV with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, as well as the events of the past few weeks.

JB interviewed AJ Styles backstage. JB asked the questions and Styles asked a bunch of questions of his own. Styles made some points about “turning a nobody into a somebody.” He said he has been around since day one when they were not sure if the company would stay afloat. He called Angle a bandwagon jumper. He said he would be the last man standing and he guaranteed it.

Samoa Joe, Matt Morgan, and BG James made their way through the backstage area in preparation for their match.

JB stood in the middle of the ring and explained the rules of the weapons gauntlet match, where the last two remaining would wrestle to determine a winner.

6. Samoa Joe pinned Tomko to win a weapons gauntlet match that also included AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, BG James, Kip James, Matt Morgan, and Booker T in 14:05. Styles and Angle were the first two entrants in the match. They brought a garbage can and ladder, respectively.

Matt Morgan and Tomko were the third and fourth participants. They brought a chair and 2×4 respectively. Morgan chased Tomko out of the Impact Zone, leaving Angle and Styles in the ring. Styles tried a Styles Clash but Angle backdropped him to the apron. Styles hit a springboard forearm. Angle slingshot Styles into a chair wedged in the corner.

BG James and Kip James were the next two participants. They brought down a chair and a road sign. Angle set up a ladder but Styles reversed an Irish whip. Angle ran underneath the ladder and Styles clotheslined Angle with the ladder. Angle immediately began gushing blood. He may have cut himself too deeply or he bled the hard way because he was quickly in a pool (and I mean pool) of his own blood.

Samoa Joe and Booker T were the final two participants, so I guess it is an 8-man match. had this one incorrectly. A black baseball bat was introduced into the match.

Styles eliminated Angle but Booker immediately eliminated Styles. Angle applied the ankle lock to Styles on the floor. The referees ran him off. Morgan, Tomko, Joe, and Booker were the last four remaining. Booker and Tomko eliminated Morgan. The heels double teamed Joe. Booker missed a kick and crotched himself on the top rope. Joe threw Tomko into Booker to eliminate him. Joe then hit the Muscle Buster on Tomko for the win.

After the match, Joe did his best AJ Styles impersonation and yelled at both Booker and Sting. Sting’s music hit and he was sitting up in the rafters. He and Joe stared each other down.

One of the rappers who will perform at Hard Justice took us off the air with a song set to the PPV match graphics.

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