Tonight, Mick Foley will change the face of wrestling forever.
Wait, didnât he just do that when he made his first appearance with TNA?
Sigh.
How many times have we heard that from TNA, WWE, WCW, et all? Iâm all for the hype, but seriously. Do we need yet another earth-shattering announcement that will cause the world to spin off its axis and hurtle uncontrollably at the sun?
Wrestlingâs face has changed more than Joan Rivers and Cherâs mugs combined.
Just Googling âchange the face of wrestling foreverâ will show you that Wrestlemania changed the face of wrestling forever (that may be true). TNA Victory Road â04 was an âepic event that will forever change the face of professional wrestling.â The Legends of Wrestling video game âchanged the face or wrestling video games forever.â Back in March of 2007, Pride Fighting out of Japan announced a press conference to make an announcement that would change the face of wrestling forever. Fred Kreuger, Violent Jack and El Jefe changed the face of the Vegas Wrestling Federation wrestling forever. Even frivolous lawsuits from disgruntled âused-to-beâ wrestlers is supposed to change the face of wrestling forever.
Wasnât WCWâs New Blood vs. the Millionaireâs Club âNew Eraâ angle supposed to change the face of wrestling forever? Well, it didnât. Just gave it a nasty case of acne and a few boils.
For the love of God and Shawn Michaels, can we please STOP CHANGING THE FACE OF WRESTLING FOREVER!
There is simply no way to live up to that pronouncement. And even if you come close, it will not sustain and wrestlingâs alleged ânew faceâ will bubble like Darkmanâs visage after 99 minutes. It will go back to what it was. The face of wrestlingâ¦whatever that is.
If Mick Foley pulls off the skin on his face that reveals that he is an alien, he will change the face of wrestling forever. If Vince McMahon came out and announced, âYou know, I am completely full of sh*t,â that would change the face of wrestling forever. If the champions from all federations met in the ring and began to furiously masturbate, THAT would change the face of wrestling forever. Well, at the very least, it would require a change in the mat that covers the ring.
If not a permanent ban, may I suggest a ten-year moratorium on announcements that change the face of wrestling forever? You simply cannot live up to them. No way. No how. I would appreciate it if a wrestling promotion announced the following:
âTonight, on (name the show), we will make an announcement that probably will be real cool, but wonât change the face of wrestling forever. So, donât get your hopes up. You know, in thinking about it, maybe itâs not such a good idea after all. Forget I said anything. Oh, why do I do this to myself? Get everyoneâs hopes up, only to dash them. Itâs just like me to do things like this. I do it all the time. No wonder I lost all my friends on my MySpace. Crap. Iâm such a loser. I hate my father. WHY ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE STARING AT ME?â
