Razzlinâ Rickâs Rapid Review â” Heavy On Wrestling â” 11/15/2008
UWS Campus – Mertz Mortorelli Gym â” Superior, Wisconsin
Heavy On Wrestling attendance broke the 1,000 mark for this fabulous show. The lighting was excellent with banks of lights centered right above the ring. The only downpoint about this venue is that the cheap seats are just wooden bleachers with no way to lean back and relax. Oh well, thatâs just my problem because I would prefer a lounge chair to a wooden bench any day. Travis Hilton and Andrew Scalze shared the announcing duties. The show introductions began at 6:45PM.
1. âThe Popularâ Nate Bash VS ROH Star Austin Aries. Aries established himself as the â~heelâ as soon as he entered the arena. The crowd was definitely behind Bash when he came out. When the match began, Austin Aries immediately used Nate Bashâs hair to pull his opponent down to the mat. Aries is so damn good at playing the cocky, arrogant â~heelâ. Bash stopped Ariesâ attacks with a couple good dropkicks. Aries quickly retaliated by whipping Bash into the ropes and then throwing him over the top rope and almost through the announcerâs table. Hilton and Scalze were stunned. The crowd started yelling âAustin sucks!â Bash came back fast, picking up Aries, swinging him around and dropping him on his knee. Aries was staggering. Aries retreated outside the ring and Bash dove over the top rope onto his opponent. Back in the ring Austin Aries delivered a hard dropkick to Bash who had been thrown into the corner. Nate Bash won the match after planting Austin Aries on his neck and shoulders, covering him so he couldnât move. (Sorry if I donât know the names of all these moves. I just describe the action the best I can.) The opening match lasted for approximately seven minutes.
2. The WWEâs Spirit Squad âMikeyâ VS Dickie Rodz (with a manager). The match started and Mikey quickly overpowered Rodz and he bailed out of the ring to confer with his manager. Mikey had to go outside to bring Rodz back into the ring. Mikey quickly regained control and Rodz bailed again. Mikey went outside again and rammed Rodz and his managerâs heads together. Then the manager interfered on the outside allowing Rodz to take over the advantage. The crowd was yelling âLetâs go Mikey!â In the ring Rodz tried a sleeper hold but only got two drops of the arm. The crowd started yelling âMikey, Mikey, Mikey!â Responding to the crowd, Mikey climbed to the top rope for a dive, but Rodz moved and Mikey ate the mat. Rodz took over offense until Mikey put his opponent into a Boston Crab type back-breaker, but Rodz managed to get to the ropes for a break. The manager distracted Mikey and Rodz hit a low-blow and got a roll-up for a 2-count. Mikey again climbed to the top rope and the manager climbed up on the ring apron but Mikey kicked him off before delivering his dive onto Rodz. Mikey rolled Dickie Rodz back into that Boston Crab type backbreaker and Rodz tapped out to give the win to Mikey. Approximately a twelve minute match.
3. Cherry VS Daffney VS Ann Brookstone. Ann Brookstone came out first and was now billed as being from Duluth, Minnesota. Ann made her â~heelâ walk around the ring and she flipped a kidâs hat off his head. The kid spit at her and she didnât seem to know what to do. She got into the ring and grabbed the microphone complaining that there was an article about HOW in the Duluth newspaper but her picture was not in the article. Heavy D came out to the ring guzzling Miller Lite beer. The crowd yelled âHeavy, Heavy, Heavy!â I think they like him. Heavy said that he would be the special guest referee for this match. He added that Ann would get her ass kicked tonight, to which the crowd cheered. Daffney came out next and did the splits as she entered the ring. Cherry came out last and planted a liplock on one lucky fan. (Nope, it wasnât Razzlinâ Rick.) When the match started, Heavy continued to carry around his bottle of beer as he refereed the match. Ann immediately attacked Cherry and she asked Daffney to help her doubleteam their opponent. Cherry stopped the attack and double- clotheslined Ann and Daffney. Brookstone threw Cherry out of the ring and attacked Daffney. With Daffney facedown on the mat, Ann picked her up in a Boston Crab position, swinging Daffneyâs head into the lower turnbuckle. The crowd yelled for Annâs â~steamrollerâ move, but we never saw that one tonight. When Ann made a pin attempt on Daffney, Heavy was too busy with his Miller Lite to make the count. Ann complained to Heavy about the failure to count the pinfall, but that didnât help. Cherry re-entered the ring and had a chopping contest with Daffney. Then the end came so quickly I almost missed Cherry pinning Ann Brookstone for the win. Heavy poured beer all over Brookstone. This match lasted approximately twelve minutes.
4. #1 Contenderâs Match for the HOW Championship. A four-way tables match with the âKing Of Throwdownâ Venom VS Big Brody Hoofer VS Joey Envy VS Arya Daivari. Before this match began, the Miller Lite girls came to ring and threw out T-shirts and souvenirs to the crowd. After this bit of T&A, Envy came to the ring first, followed by Venom, Daivari and Hoofer. Daivari brought his carpet with him and Hoofer brought a kendo stick. When the match started, Venom attacked Daivari and Hoofer attacked Envy. The wrestlers quickly spilled outside the ring and over the ring barriers into the fanâs table area. The wrestlers ended up fighting all over the arena in among the fans. I donât know how the cameras are going to follow all of this on the DVD. Daivari and Hoofer even fought into the wooden bleachers (the cheap seats). Envy and Venom made it back to the ring first. Envy leaned a table into the ring corner and continued fighting with Venom. Hoofer entered the ring and threw Venom into the table, breaking it, thus eliminating Venom first from this match. Hoofer attacked Envy and then double-clotheslined Envy and Daivari. Hoofer was definitely the dominant wrestler until Daivari finally slowed him down. Daivari and Envy set up another table in the ring. Hoofer was now on the defensive so he got his kendo stick from the announcerâs table but Envy took it and nailed Hoofer. Then Daivari took the stick and hit Hoofer. Getting mad now, Hoofer retrieved the Kendo stick forcing Envy and Daivari out of the ring. Envy set up another table outside the ring. Hoofer was up on the corner ropes as Envy climbed back into the ring. They fought in the corner and Hoofer threw Envy through the table, eliminating Envy from the match. Now the war was between Arya Daivari and Big Brody Hoofer. They fought hard and Daivari managed to place Hoofer on the table inside the ring. Daivari climbed up to the top rope with his carpet to attempt a Magic Carpet Ride on Hoofer, BUT the table refused to break. Daivari set up another table outside the ring while the crowd was yelling âUSA, USA, USA!â Daivari threw Hoofer on the outside table but the table refused to break. Hoofer climbed back onto the ring apron and Daivari headbutted Hoofer back onto the table. This time the table bent, but still didnât completely break, and the referee called for the bell. Arya Daivari became the #1 contender for the HOW Championship. This match lasted approximately 22 minutes. Intermission was called to clean up the mess.
5. The Northstar Express (Darin Corbin & Ryan Cruz) VS Rory & Robbie McAllister, The Highlanders. The Highlanders wear kilt-type attire. Rory started against Darin Corbin and he paddled Corbinâs behind. Corbin retreated to his corner and Ryan Cruz entered the ring to massage the paddled area. Darin even mooned the crowd to show them his pain. The Highlanders clotheslined both opponents to the outside of the ring. The crowd erupted into loud cheers. Robbie brought Cruz back into the ring the hard way over the top rope. The Highlanders really overpowered the Northstar Express. Corbin & Cruz had to cheat to stay in this contest. The fans were revolting. They isolated Rory, but he finally got a back body drop on Corbin and a hot tag to Robbie. The Highlanders doubleteamed Darin, bouncing him off the top rope and planting him face first into the mat for the pinfall. There was a lot of comedy here but it was definitely a crowd pleaser. This match lasted approximately twelve minutes.
6. The Black Stallion VS Thoruf Marius with Bad Boy Brian. The immense size and strength of Thorus Marius easily overpowered The Black Stallion. Stallion immediately begged off. Thoruf laid a loud chop on Stallionâs chest. Stallion had no defense. Thoruf chopped him again â” LOUDLY! Thoruf charged Stallion but he pulled down the top rope to send Thoruf down to the floor. The Black Stallion dived over the top rope onto Thoruf, but he just caught Stallion and carried him around the outside of the ring. Stallion kicked, managing to get out of Thorufâs hold, then pushed Thoruf into the ringpost, finally getting the advantage. Back in the ring Thoruf just started kicking Stallion but he bailed, drawing Thoruf to the edge of the ring where Stallion attacked once again. Back in the ring Stallion worked on Thorufâs left arm and Thoruf started kicking again. Thoruf landed a spinning heel kick and he put his big boot in Stallionâs face. Stallion then rammed Thorufâs face into the mat, but Thoruf grabbed Stallionâs throat preparing for a choke slam. Thatâs when Bad Boy Brian climbed up into the ring and stopped Thoruf. Brian gave Thoruf a low-blow and The Black Stallion rolled up Thoruf for the victory. It looks like Bad Boy Brian wonât be Thorufâs friend anymore. About a 7-minute match.
7. HOW Championship Match. âThe Anarchistâ Arik Cannon VS âThe Professionalâ Benjamin Sailer with Terry Funk, the Special Enforcer. Mick Foley is the special guest referee. Cannon came out first, followed by Sailer and Terry Funk. Huge cheers erupted when special guest referee Mick Foley came to the ring. Before the match began, Foley showed Mr. Socko hanging from his belt loop. The match began with Arik Cannon and Benjamin Sailer trading armbars and we got an exhibition of some fine mat wrestling. They tried to shoulder block each other but they both withstood each otherâs charges. Sailer got the advantage with some dropkicks and Cannon bailed out of the ring. Cannon and Sailer fought outside the ring and referee Foley started counting them both out. He yelled, âKeep it in the ring!â Cannon choked out Sailer on the ropes. Cannon started chopping Sailer and the action spilled outside the ring again. Then the Northstar Express ran out to the ring and attacked both wrestlers. Oh no, not a DQ in a championship match! Mick Foley exited the ring and with the help of Terry Funk, the veterans cleared the area of the Northstar Express. This was a lot of fun to watch. Cannon and Sailer fought through the fans and up the ramp onto the entrance area. Arik Cannon DDTâed Benjamin Sailer on the hard surface of the entrance area, and when they got back to the ring, Sailerâs face was covered with blood. Sailer looked like he was in the middle of a Mick Foley ECW hardcore match. Cannon clotheslined Sailer but only got a two-count. Cannon got mad and pushed Foley. Foley looked ready to fight back. Cannon delivered a hard elbow to Sailer but, once again, only got a two-count out of Foley. Cannon applied a sleeper hold on Sailer but Sailerâs arm only dropped twice. Cannon slapped Sailerâs face and he looked at his bloody hand. Sailer finally seemed to be making a comeback but Cannon lifted Sailer, straddling his legs around the top rope causing much discomfort. Cannon put Sailer into a camel clutch but he fought out of it. Sailer climbed to the top rope and landed a double foot stomp onto Cannon and then both men were down. Foley got up to a 9-count before the wrestlers recovered. Sailer hit Cannon with two spinning heel kicks but only managed to get a two-count on the pin attempt. Cannon tried his finishing sequence but only got a two-count from Mick Foley. Both wrestlers climed to the top rope. Sailer pushed Cannon to the mat and he connected with a back flip off the top rope, but Sailer only got a two-count in the pin attempt. Cannon threw Sailer outside the ring and a chopfest resulted. Cannon rolled Sailer into the ring and he grabbed a chair from ringside. Terry Funk, Sailerâs enforcer, tried to grab the chair but Cannon landed a chairshot on Funk. Foley tried to keep Cannon from using the chair inside the ring. Cannon rammed the chair in between Foleyâs legs. Then Cannon stole Mr. Socko from Foleyâs belt and choked out Sailer with it. Terry Funk charged into the ring and flattened Arik Cannon. Foley pushed Funk down, removed Funkâs shoe and stole one of his socks. Mick Foley gave Cannon the alternate Mr. Socko. Benjamin Sailer pinned Arik Cannon using his back bridge pinning move. Your new and first ever HOW Champion is Benjamin Sailer. The match lasted approximately twenty-six minutes. WOW, what a great ending to a spectacular wrestling program. Mick Foley and Terry Funk reminisced for a couple minutes in the ring. Mick Foley described Heavy On Wrestling as the Minnesota equivalent of the old ECW. Mick Foley invited all the wrestlers in the back to join him and Funk in the ring. Yes, this was a fabulous show!
Razzlinâ Rick reporting.
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