Feature: Steve Anderson on the Hade Vansen Effect


“I have watched the darkness.” – Hade Vansen

Sure, you have. That dark abyss you studied may resemble your WWE career.

Wrestling is chock-full of “one-hit wonders” or those who enjoyed, at best, fifteen minutes of fame. Call it a failed experiment. Call it the career “cup of coffee.” Wrestlers and their gimmicks have come and gone as fast as Brutus Beefcake in a furry-faced mask.

To the Failed Gimmick Wayback Machineâ<80>¦


Ick. This combo magician-mime comes out and does magic tricks that wows commentators Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon. You would have thought David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. He then pulls off his mask that had a ribbon attached to with the other end in his mouth. He pulls the lengthy fabric out of his mouth, again to the absolute amazement of the announcers. The “ick” factor comes in when he gives the mask and spitty ribbon to a ringside kid.

Beaver Cleavage

Wow. This one stunk to high heaven. Beaver Cleavage and Mrs. Cleavage proved that not everything in the “Attitude” era worked. Oedipus would have changed the channel to WCW. Essentially, the implication was that Beaver was very familiar with Mommy’sâ<80>¦well, you know. Didn’t last long and resulted in a stupid shoot where wrestler forsook his gimmick.

The New LOD with Crush

Don’t blink. You might have missed it. When Hawk bolted from WWE in the summer of 1992, the fed briefly united Animal and Crushâ<80>¦oh, and that Rocco dummy. Sheesh. There is a TV promo out there somewhere announcing the new Legion of Doom with Crush. I think it aired locally.

The WWF Freebirds

Again, blinking is discouraged. In 1984, the Fabulous Freebirds entered the WWF just long enough for a match and a mention/picture in a Sports Illustrated article about “Rock and Wrestling.” If I remember correctly, they were managed by Cyndi Lauper. Either their partying ways or the WWF’s desire to make them singles wrestlers hastened their exit.

Ding Dongs

From Belleville. Their debut match in June 1989 was a success. I believe their second match was their finale when the Ding Dongs were exposed. Actually, their masks were pulled off. Their bells were not showing.

The Yeti

Actually, he was a mummy whose claim to fame is humping Hulk Hogan. Any questions?

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