WWE RAW Results
March 30, 2009
Written by: Matt Boone
Intro:
RAW opens backstage with a shot of a hearst and Undertaker’s music playing.
The intro hits and we’re ready to rock for this week!
Scheduled for tonight, according to Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler:
-Funeral for "Mr. WrestleMania" tonight on RAW
-John Cena vs. Big Show
-Jerry Lawler vs. Chris Jericho
RAW opens with an eighteen-Diva match.
Melina, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Maria, Tiffany, & Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Layla, Rosa Mendez, & Katie Lea Burchill
18 Divas tag-match. Gail Kim and Victoria were among those who have returned in this match. Short match that ends with the babyface Divas going over. After the match we have a big segment with Santino Marella.
Winners: Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Maria, Tiffany, & Alicia Fox
After The Match: Santino Marella
Santino Marella comes out after the match and says he was eliminated of his chances of making it to the Diva battle royal. He said he went to the top though, to president Jack Tunney, but then remembers he passed away years ago. He talks about David Crockett too. Marella says the girls may have had their in-ring competition, but he is going to have his own bikini exhibition show. Marella in his robe comes into the ring. He says he’s gonna prove he has what it takes to become Ms. WrestleMania. Santino Marella says he’s gonna reveal the man-kini. He takes his robe off and is wearing a thong with attatched suspenders. He does a dance to some Kid Rock music. All 18 Divas pile in and beat up on Santino Marella. They throw him out of the ring and Melina’s music hits to end this goofy ass segment.
-A video package of the Triple H vs. Randy Orton feud is shown, recapping the last few weeks’ activity.
Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Chris Jericho
Lawler’s music hits as he makes his way to the ring. We go to commercial, with Lawler vs. Chris Jericho up next. We come back from commercial and Lawler is still in the ring. Chris Jericho’s music hits and he’s coming out now for the match. Bell sounds and we’re off. "Jerry, Jerry" chant from the crowd. Lawler backs Jericho into a corner, Jericho pushes him. Lawler pushes him back. Lawler starts slugging away. Lawler landing kicks now. Lawler with Jericho in the corner, rakes his eyes. Jericho gets a cheap shot in to turn the tide. Jericho is stomping away at Lawler. "Jerry, Jerry" chant from the crowd again. Jericho choking Lawler with the ropes. Jericho slaps Lawler. "Let’s go Lawler" chant. Jericho throws Lawler into the ropes and lands the big back-elbow. Jericho punching away at Lawler as he yells at him. Headbutt from Jericho. Jericho off the second rope but catches a punch in the stomach from Lawler. Lawler punching away at Jericho. Lawler pulls down the strap and lands more punches, knocking Jericho down. Jericho draws Lawler in and lands some punches to the belly. Jericho quickly applies the "Walls of Jericho" and Lawler taps. Jericho is announced as the winner.
Winner: Chris Jericho
After The Match: Chris Jericho Promo
After the match, Jericho almost leaves but decides to come back in the ring. His music stops. He stands over Lawler. He picks Lawler up. Lawler blasts him with a punch. Jericho runs out of the ring and gets a mic. He asks Lawler if he wants him back in the ring. Jericho says forget it, he already beat Lawler. Jericho stays when it comes to Piper, Snuka and Steamboat at WrestleMania – it’s not a matter of if he’ll beat them, but how bad he beats them. He says will he pin them? Make them submit like he just made Lawler? Or beat them badly like he did Flair last week. Jericho says he wants to remind everyone he didn’t start this. He says this is all Mickey Rourke’s fault. He says because of Rourke, the three legends will see their demise at WrestleMania. He says after WrestleMania only one name will be synonmous with the word "legend" and that name is Chris Jericho.
-A trailer is aired for John Cena’s new "12 Rounds" movie.
-A reminder of John Cena vs. BIg Show for tonight is shown.
-A commercial for Saturday’s "Hall Of Fame" on USA Network is shown. Featured in the video were Terry Funk/Dory Funk Jr., Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. One would assume those three will be the television inductions this weekend.
-A video package of the Big Show and Edge beating up John Cena on RAW two weeks ago airs, followed by the Edge/Big Show/Cena interaction from the end of last week’s RAW.
Backstage – Todd Grisham Interviews John Cena & Edge
Grisham tells Cena they’re six days away from WrestleMania. Before Cena says anything, Edge enters the picture with the World title. Edge says Cena’s chances of walking out of WM25 as champion are non-existant. But it doesn’t have to be that way. He says two weeks ago, Big Show knocked Cena out. Last week, he knocked Edge out. He says he’s 7 feet tall, 500 lbs. He says if he and Cena could put aside their differences, they could take out The Big Show. After that, then they could beat each other up all night long. He says if they don’t though, they don’t stand a chance. Edge asks if Cena understands. Cena says it makes perfect sense. There’s no way to take out Big Show. He says he doesn’t care though. He doesn’t like or trust Edge. He says he’d rather lose on his own. He says he told Edge on SmackDown, he’s going to WrestleMania to be the World Heavyweight champion. He leaves as Edge looks frustrated.
Backstage – Legacy Talk About "Orton’s Address" Tonight
-Michael Cole announces that Randy Orton will have his "WrestleMania Address". Legacy is shown talking about how Orton has many things to address. DiBiase says what he has planned isn’t just for HHH. It’s for the entire WWE universe. It effects everyone. He says after WrestleMania, everything you know about the WWE will change forever.
Backstage – HBK In Coffin
-We see the hearst again while Undertaker’s music plays. A coffin is shown and HBK sits up out of it. He mugs the camera as we go to commercial.
-The Pussycat Doll chick asks if fans wish she would go to WrestleMania. She says she will be and she’ll see everyone there as her music video plays.
Backstage – HBK In Coffin Pt. 2
Michael Cole says WWE missed what HBK said going into the commercial. A video replay airs showing HBK asking if we were expecting someone else while sitting in the coffin.
Rey Mysterio vs. JBL
WrestleMania preview-match. Lawler finally returns to the broadcast booth. JBL’s music and out comes his limo. His door is opened and out comes the Intercontinental champion to the ring ready for action. He stops and gets a microphone. He tells Mysterio that on SmackDown! JBL promised he’d give the most dominanting victory in WrestleMania history. JBL says tonight he’s going to beat him within an inch of his life so that at WrestleMania he’ll beat him worse than anyone’s ever been beaten. JBL tells Mysterio not to take it personally "amigo".
Bell sounds to start this non-title match. JBL takes an early lead and we go to a mid-match commercial. We come back and Mysterio tries a flying body spress, but JBL catches him and nails a fall-away slam. Mysterio takes over control of the match, getting his offense in. Mysterio misses a 6-1-9 attempt but hits a second one. Mysterio gets the pin and victory.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
-We go to commercial, but are told up next is John Cena vs. Big Show.
John Cena vs. Big Show
Cena’s music hits and Cena is out first. Big Show’s music hits and out comes the Big Show. We see Vickey Guerrero looking at a monitor to watch the match backstage. Bell sounds and Big Show gets the quick lead, winning the early slugfest. Big Show has control of the match for a bit now, throwing Cena around like a rag doll. Cena is looking to make a comeback, punching away, but Big Show slams Cena and regains control of the bout. Big Show misses a big splash in the corner and Cena punches away. Big Show beats Cena to the ground again and slows the pace of the match down, regaining control of the offensive flow of the match. Big Show attempts the old Vader-splash but misses. Big Show up first, misses a big leg drop attempt. Cena up, tries for the STFU, but Big Show nails Cena and is in control again as we go to commercial. We come back and Big Show is still in control, choking Cena. Big Show stands on Cena with all his weight a few times. Big Show calls for the chokeslam. Big Show picks Cena up for the chokeslam, but in mid-air, Cena comes down with a DDT. Cena again trying for the STFU. Big Show again blocks it and nails Cena. Big Show is up, Cena is down. Cena up quick and goes for the FU. Big Show reverses and nails the chokeslam and gets the pinfall victory.
Winner: Big Show
After The Match: Edge Attacks
Edge slides in with a chair and begins attacking John Cena as Big Show looks on. Refs are trying to pull Edge off Cena, but Edge keeps getting his way back and beating on Cena some more. Big Show continues to stand and just watch as this goes on. Edge finally backs off into a corner and he and Big Show stare at each other.
-A reminder of tonight’s "Randy Orton Address" is shown.
-A video package of HBK’s tribute to The Undertaker from SmackDown! this past week is shown.
In-Ring Segment: HBK With A Coffin
We return and see HBK walking with two guys carrying a coffin. They’re heading to the ring as we go to commercial. We return and Undertaker’s music hits as Michael Cole reminds us about the "funeral for Mr. WrestleMania" tonight. The ring has a funeral set-up already done up. HBK’s music interupts ‘Taker’s and out comes Michaels. Two pics are set up for the funeral, a pic of HBK looking like a winner and a picture of ‘Taker laid flat out on his back. Taker’s funeral music hits again and HBK begins. He says he stands here before you tonight, a man who is unafraid. He says all this funeral stuff isn’t for him, it’s for Undertaker. This Sunday at WrestleMania, HBK says he’ll end ‘Taker’s undefeated streak. He says the two have had epic battles in the past and it’s always been HBK who has come out on top. HBK says in ‘Taker entire career, the one thing he could never accomplish was beating Michaels. He says it will be no different this Sunday at WrestleMania. HBK says over the past few weeks he’s super-kicked ‘Taker in the face, he treaded on the hollow grounds of ‘Taker’s graves, and this past Friday on SmackDown! he showed how his light will forever out-shine Undertaker’s darkness. He says he did it all without the slightest bit of consequence. Without a hint of retribution. HBK opens the casket. He says there will be no retribution tonight, Sunday or ever. HBK says you’re supposed to use WrestleMania to show your peers and the world what you represent. HBK says he’s personally insulted to hear ‘Taker doesn’t think he can end his win-streak. He says he is "Mr. WrestleMania". HBK says after WM25, they’ll talk of who won the WWE title and World title, 70,000 people, legends and ladders, but the one moment that will last above all else this Sunday is when HBK pins The Undertaker at WrestleMania to end his undefeated streak. Bell tolls and the lights go out. Bell tolls a second time and lights come back on. Undertaker is in the ring but HBK is nowhere to be found. ‘Taker destroys the funeral set-up, stands in front of the casket and looks pissed. He does a slow-turn and looks at the casket curiously. He walks towards the casket, opens it and it’s empty. Out from under the casket comes HBK and he nails ‘Taker with "Sweet Chin Music" as the bell tolls one more time and HBK’s music hits as he stands over Undertaker. HBK walks off.
-We return to a "12 Rounds" trailer.
-We go to the announce booth and Lawler, still in his tights, along with Michael Cole plug this weekend’s Hall Of Fame induction ceremony. A video package airs to promote it "Stone Cold’s" induction. Jerry Lawler says he’ll be hosting the HOF ceremony.
-Cole and Lawler plug the full card for WrestleMania 25.
-We go backstage and see The Legacy talking to a bunch of security guards.
CM Punk vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin
Eight man over the top battle royal with the participants from the Money in the Bank match at WrestleMania. CM Punk out first, Kane second as we go to commercial. We’ll return with the match. We’re back and the match is in progress. Henry eliminates Finlay. Hornswoggle distracts Henry from the outside and the other wrestlers gang up to eliminate Mark Henry. Kane eliminates both Shelton Benjamin and MVP. We’re down to Christian, Kane, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk. All four men stop and staredown each other. They brawl and CM Punk eliminates Kofi Kingston. Kane throws Christian into CM Punk, which knocks them both out of the ring over the top. Kane wins the battle royal.
Winner: Kane
-We go to a shot backstage of Legacy and Randy Orton walking to the ring. Up next is the Orton Address, which will "change the WWE universe forever".
Randy Orton’s WrestleMania Address:
Orton’s music hits and out comes Randy Orton by himself. Music stops and Orton is in the ring with a microphone. Orton says at the age of 24 he became the youngest World champion in history. He says it was the greatest moment in his life, but short-lived because the next night on RAW the man who was his mentor, the claimed to be his friend, turned on him in a fit of jealous-rage. A video package is shown of the infamous "thumbs down" Evolution segment on RAW where HHH, Ric Flair and Batista turned on Orton. We return live and Orton says that night is where everything started falling into place. He says HHH ruined his life so Orton made a vow to himself to ruin HHH’s life. Orton said he waited until he found the talent to form a group of his own. He waited until HHH was as powerful as ever and had something he cared about more than the WWE title. Orton said so it began this past January when Orton won the Royal Rumble. Another video package airs, this time of the Royal Rumble. We return live and Orton says he earned the right to face HHH and take his title at the 25th anniversary of WrestleMania, but that wasn’t enough. He had to raise the stakes and take everything away from HHH that he cared about and systematically destroy him. Orton says so he chose his family – the most powerful family in the WWE: The McMahon’s. Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and his sweet wife Stephanie. A video package airs of Orton punting Vince’s head, beating up Shane, and last week’s situation with Stephanie McMahon. We return live and Orton says almost five years after HHH turned on him, he RKO’d his wife. Orton says let him make one thing clear, he knew exactly what he was doing. Orton said he knew HHH would retaliate. He said HHH went to Orton’s home and attacked him and took a sledgehammer to Rhodes and DiBiase. Orton said that was a risk he was willing to take because he wanted HHH to feel confident because it would make him let his guard down. Orton said it allowed him to do this: and a video package is shown of Orton beating up Stephanie last week while HHH was handcuffed to the ropes. We return live and Orton says at WrestleMania everytime he and HHH lock up, everytime he tries to throw a punch, he’s gonna be looking at the man who DDT’d his wife and sealed it with a kiss. Orton says he won’t come to WM25 with his sledgehammer to get his vengeance because Orton talked to Vickey Guerrero and it’s official that if HHH is DQ’d or counted out – he loses the WWE title. If he shows up to the ring with the sledgehammer it’s an automatic DQ and Orton becomes champion without lifting his finger. Orton says so it comes full circle with HHH. He has taken everything from HHH except the WWE title which will happen this Sunday at WrestleMania. He says when that happens the entire landscape of WWE will change and the power will shift permanently. Superstars will try and climb their way up so that one day they can stand by Orton’s side. We go to a shot of a limo pulling up. Orton yells for the lights to be turned on. He calls out the Legacy members and security. Out they come. We go to the limo with the doors open and it’s an empty limo. Orton says if it’s HHH than he needs to come out. Vince McMahon’s music hits and out comes Mr. McMahon. Vince stops, takes his sport coat off, rolls his sleeves up and Shane’s music hits. HHH’s music hits and out comes Triple H. HHH looks enraged as all three men walk to the ring. They are stopped by security but quickly beat them down and get past them. HHH takes his shirt off and we have a brawl between Legacy/Orton and HHH/McMahon’s outside the ring. HHH and Orton end up in the ring alone and HHH takes Orton down and punches away. The show ends with HHH punching Orton in the corner.
