WZ.com’s 5/29 Edition of “The Not News of The Week!”

Nick Paglino

5. There is talk within TNA Wrestling right now of bringing former WCW star Marcus "Buff" Bagwell into the company as an on-air performer.

Here’s a better idea. TNA should bring Buff into the company as an off-air performer and never actually have him leave his house to come to the arena. We never see him and we never hear from him. He would get over with the fans much better this way.

6. It’s being reported that Hulk Hogan has been spotted recently with a new "gal pal" tagging along with him. While the reports have not confirmed whether the two are in fact dating or not, they are claiming that the girl is in her 30’s and interestingly enough looks like a cross between Linda and Brooke Hogan.

I see. So Hogan’s dating Nicole Bass?

7. Former WWE Diva Ashley Massaro turned 30 years old this past Tuesday. It’s being reported that Massaro has plans to celebrate her birthday tonight at a club in Farmingdale, NY.

In lieu of bringing gifts, Massaro is claiming that if you remember who she is and show up to her party she’ll give you a hand job in the bathroom of the club for $1.50 and a biscuit from KFC.

8. The following was released this past week on PerezHilton.com:

"Perez, if Brooke continues to spew lies on behalf of her father’s lame attempt to distance himself from the reality that he is no different from the homicidal OJ Simpson, Charlie will be forced to put aside his paramedic/firefighting career path and release an album called "Redemption" which will easily surpass any of Brooke’s records sales.

Brooke has always had a problem telling the truth. If it is her claim that her breasts are natural or she hasn’t been banging the crap out of the pot head $tack for the last 3 years, then her comments of Charlie being a year and a half younger than her are again a complete fabrication (they are 4 months apart). She only judges Charlie because of his long hair and age, Linda doesn’t judge.

Here are some cold hard facts; these people who say Linda is doing drugs are friends of Hulk Hogan. Brooke is Hulk’s only remaining mouthpiece and a pawn in his game of control. Linda will walk into any drug testing facility and take a random test and the truth will be she is clean. Put your money where your mouth is Brooke aka Hulk. Brooke "thinks" she’s doing drugs is a hypocrisy when her father and $tack are rolling and Smoking joints together in Brooke’s recording session, and Brooke knows it. As for Charlie, he is an accomplished Spring board diver (4th in the Nationals), eagle scout and certified captain in commercial boating with his bigger goal of joining the fire department. Linda’s definition of a good time is hitting a 8:30 am mass at St Max’s grabbing some Cuban food at Versailles (her fav). We aren’t here to kiss anyone’s ass but Linda would love spend a fun California day with Perez with or without that famous garlic chicken, but you have to go to mass."

You want to know what my joke is for this one? Just re-read it. The whole thing is a joke. This family is beyond doomed at this point. Sad. Very sad.

9. ECW General Manager Tiffany has been nominated for PETA’s World’s Sexiest Vegetarian 2009 contest! Faithful readers of her blog know that ECW’s interim General Manager is a vegan … and a sexy, smart and powerful Diva.

Here’s some past PETA winners:

1. 2008’s Sexiest Cannibal: Mark Henry

2. 2009’s Sexiest Future Endeavor Club Member: Ken Kennedy

3. 1980-2009’s Most Obnoxious Organization: PETA

That’s gonna do it for this week’s edition of The Not News of the Week, you can catch the news every Monday right here on WrestleZone.com, and remember, if it’s not worth talking about, it’s definitely "Not News." Be sure to send any and all feedback to VOWNick@gmail.com!

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