Foley Speaks On Terry Funk’s Comedy Roast This Weekend

Matt Boone

The following is an excerpt from the latest online blog of TNA star Mick Foley:

Roasting the Funker and Musing on Missy

I just returned from the big wrestling roast/convention in New Jersey, with some new experiences/stories/perspectives to share. These type of things are always a blast (well, not always, but I wasn’t at that one at the Cow Palace) for guys who have been around the business, as it allows the chance for the guys and ladies in the business to reaquaint with old friends, meet some legends of the past, and perhaps, most importantly, share exagerrated stories of their wrestling prime.

I had a wonderful talk with Luna, who I hadn’t seen in years, met the legendary Billy Robinson for the first time, and had a chance to speak with Kevin Sullivan, who was so instrumental in my early career, for the for the first time since the Benoit deaths in June, 2007. I only regret that I didn’t have more time to talk with everyone, from Marc Lewin, to Oliver Humperdink, to Terri Runnels…even Al Snow. I had the early  autograph session today – from 9:30 am until about 1 pm, and had to leave almost immediately after. It wasn’t until I got home, and looked at some of the autographs that had been procured for me in the WWE Encyclopedia (for a kid who has been a great help to me, not for me, even though it is a hell of a book) that I realized how many great stars had been at the convention in the room right next to me without my knowing it. Guys like Road Warrior Animal, Ken Patera, Ken Kennedy, Nikolai Volkoff, Rikishi, Matt Stryker, Marc Mero and many others. Plenty of Divas/Knockouts, too, like Sunny, Lillian, Miss Jaquiline, Jackie Gayda, Awesome Kong, Tara, and Nidia, as well as the First Lady of Wrestling, Missy Hyatt…who I will write a little more on in a moment. Sorry if I excluded anyone, and hey, while I’m at it, sorry to Marc Mero, for being way too rough on him in my first book. Marc was always a good guy, and apparantly the only problem I had with him was that he had the audacity to land a good contact in WWE about a week after I arrived with just the promise of an opportunity. Really not his fault.

Of course there was a raost as well, with the guest of honor, the legendary Texas Bronco/Middle Aged Crazy/Chainsaw Charlie/Hardcore Legend Terry Funk as the roastee. This was the first roast I’d ever attended, and I can’t honestly say whether I’d attend another one. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun. I enjoyed at least some of each roaster’s comments, and some of the night was genuinely hillarious. I especially enjoyed personal Terry Funk stories from so many of the guys, and in some ways, found the simple, non-comical approach of Kevin Von Erich and Dennis Stamp to be among the evening’s highlights. Superstar Graham unveiled a beautiful portrait of Terry that he had created; a great piece of artwork by a great artist. And I was flattered just to be up there on the stage with guys who had been witnesses to so much of the Funker’s legendary carer: JJ Dillon, Bill Apter, Mike Graham, Kevin Sullivan, King Kong Bundy, New Jack, and Missy Hyatt, who was a great sport all night and absolutely killed with some of her jokes.

But to tell you the truth, I’m not a big fan of some of the meanness that seems to go hand in hand with these types of things. I really enjoyed the three professional comedians who were part of the roast, but man, I’m not sure that JR’s Bell’s Palsy, Magnum TA’s paralysis, or Patrick Swayze’s recent death from pancreatic cancer (Patrick and Terry were good fiends) are the stuff on which good times should be made. I realize that the guys are up there in front of a difficult crowd, trying to make people laugh, but damn, there seems to be so many good targets available that going to those type of comedy depths seems to be unnecesarry.

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