fake
fāk/
noun
A thing that is not genuine; a forgery or sham.
For your perusal, I have opened today’s missive with the dictionary definition of “fake.” Pro wrestling, by that definition, is fake. It is not genuine competition. It is, in fact, a forgery thereof. A million marginal performers can cite a million years of experience and the million bumps they took as evidence otherwise, but nobody gets to overrule the friggin’ dictionary. Not even the legends of ECW (gag).
Don’t blame me, and don’t blame UFC douche Dana White. Vince McMahon shattered kayfabe when he proclaimed that wrestling was fake by way of avoiding regulation by state athletic commissions. If you put White on blast, do the same to McMahon. Trust me, has-beens, he won’t be giving you one last run either way.
Pro wrestling is fake. Any way you want to twist it, it’s fake. It’s physically demanding and requires great athletic skill. Practitioners should take pride in performance, just like anybody should when it comes to their work. It’s complicated. There’s psychology. There’s theatre. There’s physical. There’s verbal. There’s timing. It’s very hard to be good at. Most of those bitching at White aren’t/weren’t nearly as good as they think they are/weren’t.
Pro wrestling is a big deal. Not like it used to be, but it’s a big deal.
But pro wrestling is fake. If you want to choose a more comforting word, go ahead if it makes you feel better. But I’m going to stick with fake. I bumped for Gene Okerlund. If anyone knows fake, it’s me.
Who’s the most over guy in fake wrestling? Brock Lesnar. The real guy. Because he makes you suspend disbelief. Yo, practitioners of faux outrage and substandard ring work: If you don’t want to be called fake, be more believable. Be snug, not contrived. Hurry up, spot monkeys.
White is a gasbag. But he’s the ONE GUY a pro wrestler can’t reasonably engage in this particular debate, because his guys fight for real.
